A bride was heartbroken when she learned that her best friend wanted to skip being her maid of honor because of weight concerns. In a Reddit post’s “Am I Overreacting” forum, a 25-year-old bride-to-be shared a screenshot of her Instagram Direct Message conversation between her and her best friend. The best friend, who is also 25, recently declined to be the maid of honor at the bride’s wedding because “she’s self-conscious about her weight.”
The best friend who is based out of Canada said a big no to being the American bride’s maid of honor via video chat. The bride expressed how stunned she was to get the response. “I was so stunned, all I said was, ‘Okay,’ ” the bride recalled.
After the video chat ended, the bride took some time to collect her thoughts and sit with her emotions for a moment. She then gathered her thoughts and asked for a serious explanation as to why her best friend was reluctant to be a special part of her wedding. She asked her, “Are you punking me, or did you really mean it that you won’t be my maid of honor because of your weight?”
The bride was “hoping that it was a momentary lapse in judgment or an ill-timed joke,” but her friend wasn’t joking. Even though the bride did not want to hear this, her friend was being serious and was 100% sure that she wanted to back out.
In the screenshot shared by the bride, the friend was seen to hold her ground. She said she “appreciated” the offer. However, she couldn’t accept the offer as it was too last-minute and it would be impossible for her to lose so much weight. The friend expressed how uncomfortable she was in her body and did not want to be the maid of honor.
Bride ‘Heartbroken’ as Best Friend Declines Maid of Honor Role Over Weight Concerns https://t.co/BjJc5wY5PW
— People (@people) October 30, 2025
The maid of honor is a role where a close friend of the bride needs to stand close to the bride during the ceremony and give a speech at the reception. The maid of honor has other duties as well, which include hosting bridal showers and bachelorette parties.
“March of 2026 is too short of a time to expect me to get wedding ready,” she wrote. In an effort to make her friend feel better about her physical appearance, the bride messaged back: “What kind of a bridezilla do you take me for? I want my best friend at my wedding, no matter her size.”
The screenshots showed how sweet the bride was, but she couldn’t convince her friend. “You don’t get it,” the friend said to the bride, who had “never even been overweight.” She continued, “If you ever become obese, you’ll understand. I’m not wishing obesity on you. Trust me, you don’t want to understand. The best I can do is to come as a guest. Even that is very hard for me.”
“I’ve been crying because she said no,” the bride concluded her post before asking the forum, “I love her so much and I want her there on my big day. Am I overreacting?”
Many Redditors saw both sides to the situation. “It’s painful on multiple levels. It would cross the line to overreacting if you made your feelings her problem,” the top comment reads in part. “She’s partially protecting herself here from months of fear and anxiety over her weight, which sounds like is already a huge mental burden on her.”
“This is a situation where both things can be true at once: her feelings/reasoning for not wanting to be in the wedding is valid (albeit sad), and you’re allowed to feel upset about it. I hope both of you can manage holding space for the others’ emotions.”
