Former first lady Michelle Obama shared details of her struggle to conceive before she had her daughters. In a recent episode of her IMO podcast, Obama and Serena Williams discussed motherhood, conception, and their pregnancy journeys.

Obama explained how devastating the miscarriage was for her. She said, “I don’t know about all of you, but I know that when I struggled to conceive, I took that on, like a personal failure.”

She and Barack Obama used IVF to conceive their kids. They welcomed their first daughter, Malia, in 1998 and Sasha in 2001. In a podcast, Obama revealed the reason why they did not have a third child. 

Obama’s journey into motherhood was not a smooth one, as conceiving was not easy for the couple. Earlier, she mentioned in her memoir Becoming, “We had one pregnancy test come back positive, which caused us both to forget every worry and swoon with joy, but a couple of weeks later I had a miscarriage, which left me physically uncomfortable and cratered any optimism we felt.”

Williams also shared her journey on the podcast episode. She spoke about freezing her eggs in her twenties so she could have children later on in her life. She said she encourages her friends to freeze their eggs as well. Williams now has two daughters, Olympia and Adira, with her husband Alexis Ohanian.

She also shared how these conversations can help others open up, which has made her more comfortable speaking about difficult topics such as fertility issues. Obama and Williams also agreed that there’s no right way to be a mother.

Williams added, “I don’t think that we have that conversation enough about how many times that either you conceive and you have a miscarriage, or whether you conceive, and it doesn’t work.” Moreover, she argued that doctors don’t share enough information about women’s bodies, and that brings silence around these common struggles. The duo also discussed how the biological clock is real and how its impact is not only physical but also mental.

Obama said, “Women often end up carrying the weight of fertility struggles like a failure.” She pointed out that several women share the struggles with conception and end up blaming themselves. Their conversation acknowledges how isolating fertility struggles can be for a woman.

Another crucial point that Obama made was how intense giving birth is. She explained this is “why maternal health should not be a political football.” She appreciated women’s bodies capable of amazing things. She added that women often are not encouraged to talk with one another and ask questions. They said they want to keep having these conversations to make it better for future generations.