Kim Goldman says she is still coping with the not guilty verdicts that were read inside a Los Angeles County courtroom on October 3, 1995. Kim is the sister of the late Ron Goldman who was murdered alongside Nicole Brown Simpson more than 20 years ago.
Ron Goldman was a 25-year-old waiter and aspiring model. Ron was murdered alongside O. J. Simpson’s ex-wife, Nicole, outside of her home in Los Angeles’ Brentwood neighborhood in June 1994.
While blood and DNA evidence pointed to Simpson — one of the most renowned running backs in NFL history — in the end, after an eight-month trial that was pored over by the media and public in 1995, he was found not guilty.
In a recent interview with KABC, a Los Angeles local television station, Kim Goldman said she is still struggling to come to terms with the verdicts. Kim added the majority of that time is still a blur; however, she can vividly recall how she felt leading up to the reading of the verdict.
Goldman said she told everyone in the courtroom to be quiet as she awaited the jury’s decision.
“You know, a lot of it is a blur in terms of — I could remember feeling my heart like thumping so loudly that I thought it was going to pop out of my chest.”
After hearing the first verdict for O.J. Simpson, for the killing of Nicole Brown Simpson, Kim said she thought her brother’s verdict would be different.
“I was thinking that Ron’s verdict may be different. I don’t know why I thought that, but I wanted to hear Ron’s verdict loud and clear. I felt shock, despair, and betrayal and Judge Ito told everybody to quiet down and tried to get control of the courtroom. We just got up and walked out.”
Since that day, Kim Goldman has written two books. Her first book, Can’t Forgive, tells the story about how her life was changed after her brother’s death. Her latest book, titled Media Circus, was released last week.
Goldman’s new book is the first collective look at grieving victims who were forced to manage their very private pain, suffering, and despair in a very public way, and how families have coped with tragedy in the public eye.
“The book is not about me. It’s not about our family. But because of my experience, I was able to elicit such honesty from these families because the media have never asked what it was like to live the private tragedy in the public eye.”
Fred Goldman, Kim Goldman, and Lauren Luebker appear in court during the sentencing of O.J. Simpson, at the Clark County Regional Justice Center December 5, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
Kim Goldman was recently a guest on The Meredith Vieira Show. Kim sat down with Meredith Vieira and shared more of her thoughts and goals. The subject of O.J. Simpson’s 2008 conviction came up for discussion.
In 2008, Simpson was incarcerated at the Lovelock Correctional Center in Nevada, after he was found guilty on charges of armed robbery, kidnapping, and several other felonies. Simpson was sentenced up to 33 years and ultimately placed behind bars.
According to an article in Us Weekly, Kim and the Goldman family have been struggling with forgiving Simpson and members of the jury, who made their decision in only four hours.
In fact, Goldman told Vieira of how she wanted to visit O.J. Simpson in jail — to actually see him behind bars adding, “He took something really important but he didn’t break me.”
After reviewing the mandatory visitation conditions, Kim decided against meeting with Simpson.
“I didn’t get past needing to sign a confidentially agreement that I would never speak of it, and I would have to deny it ever happened. So I was not willing to do that.”
On the Meredith Vieira Show, Goldman also met with a former jury member, Yolanda Crawford.
Kim explained why the very first meeting with Yolanda Crawford was “awkward and a little uncomfortable.”
“I’m just struggling a little, because I don’t agree and the decision 12 jurors made changed the trajectory of my life and our family’s life and it’s hard to understand how two people can sit in the same exact room and hear the same evidence and come to two completely different thoughts.”
According to former jury Yolanda Crawford, she struggles with doubts about the jurors’ decision.
“I don’t know of his innocence, I’m not sure about that I’ve always had some doubt. There was evidence that was put in the civil trial that we weren’t privy to during the criminal trial.”
Crawford expressed her sympathy to Kim Goldman, and the entire Goldman family.
“I just want to express my sympathy for the loss of your family and I’m sorry I couldn’t give you what you were looking for. I felt like we followed the instructions of the Judge and of the system and it called for a not guilty verdict because of, I want to say, the reasonable doubt and that was there in the case for us.”
Though Yolanda offered her sympathy to the Goldman family, Kim Goldman continues to get hate mail from others. Kim explained to Meredith and the television audience how people send a barrage of hateful messages on the internet about her murdered brother and the Goldman family.
Some people claim Ron Goldman deserved to be stabbed to death, accusing him of sleeping with a married woman, though Kim is adamant that Ron never had an affair with Nicole. In addition, Kim said others write that Ron deserved to die and the Goldman family needs to suffer because they are Jewish and are “gold diggers.”
Kim Goldman says the way she handles the hatred depends on how she feels on any given day. On one day, she may just consider the source; however, she admits that at times it really hurts. On other days, when she feels somewhat vulnerable, she wants to argue with those who send derogatory and hateful messages and she wants to right every wrong.
Kim Goldman says when she feels stronger she ignores the hateful messages. More power to her.
[Featured image via Ethan Miller/Getty Images]