Tara Carson is the name of the mother involved in the incident that happened at a Maine diner this week in which Marcy’s Diner owner Darla Neugebauer yelled at her 21-month-old daughter.
Carson had previously taken to Facebook to complain about what happened. Neugebauer then told her side of the story and started to receive a wave of support from around the nation.
Now the mom of the girl she reportedly yelled at is speaking out via Washington Post editorial in an attempt to set the record straight and tell her side of things.
But thus far, she is still getting a lot of kickback from commenters, who find her explanation less than satisfactory.
I’ll start with some of the Tara Carson explanation. She starts by stating that there was a 30-minute wait for a table, adding that the meal “took about 40 minutes to arrive.”
“At this point, my 21-month-old was getting antsy, as I imagine most would when they have to sit in one place and wait for a long time,” Carson said, adding that the child “wasn’t having a meltdown, so we decided to stay in our corner booth rather than go outside in the rain. In the noisy diner I didn’t see anyone looking at us or think we were causing a disturbance. (If that had been the case, we would have gladly taken our baby outside.)”
Tara Carson then claimed that her daughter was fussy when the meal arrived, so they decided to “eat quickly and leave” and that’s when Neugebauer came over with the to-go boxes and issued the ultimatum for them to leave.
“We hadn’t seen this woman before and didn’t know who she was,” Carson explained. “She seemed so unprofessional that we didn’t take it seriously. Our waitress seemed embarrassed by the owner’s behavior too.”
“I continued feeding my child because the food was finally on the table. A few minutes later, Neugebauer, now behind the grill, slammed her hands on the counter. She pointed at my baby’s face and screamed, ‘You need to shut the hell up!’… My husband replied, ‘Are you serious? Are you really yelling at a toddler right now?’ ‘As serious as a heart attack,’ she said, with fury in her eyes.”
Carson said there was a “look of fear” on her child’s face, and that’s when she told the toddler this was “exactly how I’m raising you not to be.”
Since that time, there has been a backlash against her parenting skills, Carson said, but what is getting lost “is that it’s never okay to yell at a baby, especially if you own a restaurant.”
“You should care about providing good service to their patrons. Neugebauer could have come over politely and told us our baby was disruptive. She should not have thrown things or yelled or cursed…. I want to raise my daughter to be good on airplanes and in restaurants and other public places. She is a normal toddler who is funny and curious and well-behaved. Is she perfect? No. Am I a perfect parent? Certainly not. But I do know that these things happen. Babies cry and sometimes moms make the call between a tantrum in the loud diner or going out into the rain. As parents, we sometimes rely on the kindness and empathy of strangers, who know we’re doing the best we can…. It’s compassion I try to model for my daughter. I wish others would do the same.”
While the Tara Carson explanation is certainly well-stated, it isn’t exactly winning over the masses. Some commenters have pointed out that it was the parents’ fault for not bringing enough toys and snacks to appease a toddler, who was forced to wait 30 minutes for a table and 40 minutes for her food.
The “compassion” comment at the end also angered several.
“Next time show some compassion for those around you,” said a commenter. “That would be a good lesson for your daughter. McDonald’s has drive thru, by the way.”
One mom also said the comment about “this is exactly what I’m raising you not to be” was condescending and entitled.
“That may be the worst statement she could’ve made,” adding that Tara Carson shows through that statement “she is raising her daughter to be as entitled as she thought she was” and that she’s “trying to place blame with the only person willing to take control of the situation” and that “she’s completely unaware that her and her child’s actions have consequences.
The commenter continued.
“After realizing it was [a] 40+ min wait, she should have left or… like my husband and I did for years with our kids, take turns going outside or driving them around in the car until its time to eat. What an obtuse dip she is.”
So what do you think about the response, readers? Does Tara Carson show that she is an entitled parent or reasonable and well-spoken in her response? Sound off in the comments section.
[Images of Tara Carson, family, and Darla Neugebauer via KidSpot]