If Simon Cowell ever offers you a lollipop, don’t lick it! That’s according to former Sex Pistol frontman Johnny Rotten, now known as John Lydon.
Simon Cowell is famous for wearing high-waisted trousers and his terrible taste in music, but the musical mongrel, sorry, mogul, is also renowned for his acidic disdain and withering scorn for anyone who hasn’t had a top ten record or got at least a few million dollars in the bank.
Yet Cowell the critic became Cowell the criticized earlier this week when John boy gave the tone-deaf Svengali a right proper tongue lashing – north London style.
The NME reports that John, who has forged a successful post-Pistol career for himself by participating in a series of lucrative commercials advertising margarine, was speaking to an audience of around 300 people at Oxford University’s Sheldonian Theatre on Monday evening to promote his new autobiography Anger Is An Energy.
Working himself up into a froth flying fury, a red-faced, bug-eyed and vein-popping John started spitting out his opinion on the Machiavellian influence that Cowell has on the music scene and the world.
“Simon Cowell, that’s our worst enemy… I don’t think [the contestants] on the show are that awful, it becomes awful when they become trained into that cruise ship show band mentality, and that’s the poison of it…” he began. “[Simon Cowell] has got us all on his big cruise ship lollipop, and I ain’t licking his lollipop.”
After casting Cowell in the light of some demented “B” movie Candyman who goes around offering people poisonous lollipops to lick, Lydon has a pop not just at Cowell but all the other self-appointed judges who host glorified end of the pier talent shows such as X-Factor.
“It’s really bad, all of them shows. How seriously the judges take themselves, and the way they judge! People, just being innocent. The brutality and the cruelty of it; that ain’t the world I live in.”
On something of a roll, and strutting around the place like a caged tiger, Lydon then attacks Bob Geldolf and Band Aid, saying that the charity initiative was “full of corruption” and that the money was eaten up by administration costs.
“I never found Band-Aids work, they think they’re waterproof, get full of water and then fall off – and it’s the same with Geldof’s lot. I don’t like them because they’re open to corruption. There’s this thing called administration and that’s where all the money is eaten up. Do you remember the one with Phil Collins and they were jetting around, doing New York, London? How much f*cking money? How many cans of Campbell’s do you think that one cost? And who really needs Phil Collins in two continents in two hours? Even his missus would have a no on that.”
Hot on the heels of Lydon’s savage attack on Cowell, it would seem to be a “get Simon” kind of week. The Huffington Post has reported that former X-Factor winner Steve Brookstein has basically accused Cowell of being a pervert.
In his new autobiography Getting Over The X, Steve Brookstein has sensationally claimed that two of Simon Cowell’s ex-girlfriends tried to seduce him in front of the music mogul in his dressing room.
Brookstein says that just hours ahead of the 2004 final he was trying to control his nerves when he was summoned to Simon’s dressing room. There, two of Cowell’s ex-girlfriends, former glamour model Jackie St. Clair and pop has-been Sinitta were lying in wait like two well-fed cougars alongside a beaming Cowell who was casually dragging on a fag in a nonchalant manner.
“Simon just sat there smoking and grinning. Jackie St. Clair opened her long coat. That left just a little thong and high heels. It was impossible to avoid her breasts as she strutted towards me. Then Sinitta followed behind. Both had me up against the dressing room door. Sinitta undid her top and they began to touch me. Simon just sat there beaming.”
The singer, said both women finally backed off after he told them to stop, and he then “tore into” Cowell, who told him he was trying to “relax” him.
In light of this, it’s probably safe to say that John boy’s is right. If Cowell offers you a lollipop, don’t lick it, just walk away.