Did you see SyFy’s Sharknado last night? If not, let me catch you up to speed with a quote from the promo: Sharks! Tornado! Sharknado!
Yep, that’s pretty much all you have to know about SyFy’s latest original movie. A series of tornadoes pick up thousands of sharks and then start hurling them (with incredible accuracy) an non-suspecting D-list actors.
Director Anthony C. Ferrante said that he loved the ridiculousness of the plot.
“If Jaws is ‘just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water, this is ‘just when you thought it was safe to go to your living room,’ ‘just when you thought it was safe to take your kids to school on a school bus,’ ‘just when you thought it was safe to look up at the sky and have a bunch of sharks rain down on you.’”
Ferrante said: There is a logic to it within the framework of our movie… I’d say the chance of a sharknado happening is probably bigger than a zombie outbreak.”
Which is surprising, since both tornadoes and sharks actually exist.
Anyway, let’s take a look at some of the things that we learned from last night’s Sharknado.
1.) All twisty weather objects can now be named by the things that they blow around. Debris-nados, housenados, that one twister in twister can now officially be called a cownado.
2. You can fight a tornado. What do you do when a sharknado attacks your city? Well, you fight back. You get in your helicopter with your detergent bomb (this was something else that was explained in the movie but it really just looked like an explosive made out of a bottle of detergent) and you throw it at the tornado. Then, bam. Sharknado dead.
3.) You can shoot sharks out of the sky. I don’t know how this one works. Apparently, the sharknado only carries living sharks. When Ziering fires his pistol at a shark (that was probably 1000 yards away at the time and flying in a frickin tornado) he somehow hits it and the thing drops from the sky. And while we’re talking about improbably things: Where were all the other fish? Do tornados only pick up sharks?
I couldn’t find any footage of this incredible phenomena but here’s the trailer for Sharknado.
4.) If there ever is a real sharknado, make sure that you have Ian Ziering is standing by your side. Not only can he shoot sharks with incredible accuracy, he could also rival Bruce Campbell for chainsaw supremacy.
5.) Which brings us to our final point. And, really, I don’t know what we learned from this. I’d just like to point out the ridiculousness of the climax. So yes, SPOILERS, if you were really going to go back and watch Sharknado.
OK, so during the showdown between logic and the Sharknado, one of the sharks (again, tossed with incredible accuracy) heads directly at a cute and frightened blonde woman. Ian pushes her out of the way and then chops the shark in half with his chainsaw.
Pretty ridiculous, right? Well, not ridiculous enough. Look out, Ian! Another shark! This time Ian can’t get his chainsaw out in time so what does he do? He jumps into the sharks mouth! Then, while inside, he rips the shark open with his chainsaw. And wouldn’t you know it? One of the characters that surely had died earlier in the movie was found in the belly of the
Seriously, my description does not do the ridiculous of sharknado justice. Here’s the epic final battle scene.
What did you learn from Sharknado?