Madonna's "Codes of Conduct" Made Guy Fly the Coop

If this is true, then I don't blame Guy Ritchie for getting as far away from Madge as possible: according to The Sun, Madonna used a "marriage contract" to "control him." It sounds weird, but it gets weirder:

"The document detailed how many dates the couple should go on and how often they should have sex.

It stated that Guy had to 'work to enrich his wife's emotional and spiritual wellbeing' and ordered him to devote several hours a week to reading Kabbalah texts with Madge. It even had instructions on what words Guy should use during rows 'to resolve conflicts in a constructive way.'"

It's a joke, though, right? It sounds like something that would never be enforced (because it's entirely too ridiculous), but one source even told The Sun that when Guy would deviate from said guidelines, Madonna would simply say "Contract, Guy, contract."

Guy is probably the happiest guy ever right now. He's learning to play the guitar and live without The Rules.

That whole "not settling without a fight thing" makes a lot more sense.