Saturday Night Live returned from a three-week “live” hiatus and wasted no time in addressing the college admissions scandal that is currently rocking Hollywood. During a Weekend Update segment, SNL star Michael Che slammed Fuller House star Lori Loughlin’s alleged involvement in the nationwide scam amid news reports that she and her husband Mossimo Giannulli paid $500,000 in bribes in order to have their daughters, Isabella and Olivia Jade, admitted to USC as fake crew team recruits.
“White people have this thing I call toxic optimism,” the SNL star said in the Weekend Update sketch, per Us Weekly. “It’s the kind of optimism that makes you believe you can get into college because your mother is Aunt Becky.”
But that wasn’t the only time SNL referenced the scandal. In an unaired sketch posted by NBC, the college admissions scandal was addressed in a bit that ran for more than six minutes. In “College Admissions,” a sketch that was cut for time on the live NBC broadcast on March 30, guest host Sandra Oh teamed up with SNL veterans Cecily Strong, Kenan Thompson, Aidy Bryant, and more to poke fun at the “requirements” needed to get into some of the top colleges involved in the scandal.
In the sketch, which you can see below, a school that boasted colors similar to USC’s cardinal and gold considered applicants such as Johnny Ferrigno, the “grandson” of Incredible Hulk star Lou Ferrigno, on the basis that the Hulk might show up on campus.
“Ooh let’s do that,” Thompson’s character said of the action star’s kin, while his co-worker chimed in with, “I agree, he Hollywood, he fun.”
In addition to the faux Ferrigno family member, Jackie Keebler, heir to the Keebler Elves fortune, was considered by the school despite her less than stellar grades, as well as a possible relative of the fictional Toys ‘R Us giraffe, Geoffrey.
When one of the decision makers noted that any relative of Geoffrey the Giraffe might give the school a “big donation,” Strong’s character reminded him that the former toy giant is currently bankrupt so “a donation from their cartoon giraffe is highly unlikely.”
Later in the sketch, Aidy Bryant played a crew team coach who had some “primo” recruits to pitch, including a rower who was pictured riding a horse, or a “land boat” as the coach described it. A second potential recruit for the all-girls crew team was a boy wearing a female wig.
When Bryant’s character was asked if she was paid in any way to get the crew team recruits into the school, she vehemently denied the suggestion, then later drove off in the “real” Batmobile that she said was purchased on a normal female crew coach’s salary.
In the end, Sandra Oh busted the whole college admissions team when she revealed she was a member of the Admissions Police.
This week was Saturday Night Live’s first attempt at college admissions humor, but fans of the late-night show should probably expect more. Next week, Loughlin and her husband are due in a Boston court to face charges in the scandal. In addition to the Fuller House star, actress Felicity Huffman, who has also been implicated in the scandal after allegedly paying $15,000 to ensure her daughter received high SAT scores, will face a judge on April 3.
You can see the Saturday Night Live “College Admissions” sketch below.
Saturday Night Live airs Saturdays at 11:30 p.m. on NBC.