The ‘Unavoidable’ Bacon Shortage Ended Up Being A Great Big Joke

“Oink” if you fell for the recently announced “unavoidable” bacon shortage.

The announcement that had us all imagining our breakfast plates and burgers a little barer than before has turned out to be a great big hoax, according to Slate. It’s like the “War of the Worlds” of our generation, and rather than radio, we’ve all been fooled through the internet. The National Pig Association of the United Kingdom announced in a press release that “A world shortage of pork and bacon next year is now unavoidable” on September 20th, and we’ve been in an uproar ever since. So let’s settle the score. Repeat after me. There is no bacon shortage.

But why, why, would someone tell such a cruel and devastating lie, you ask?

Money!

The National Pig Association of the United Kingdom wants British customers to feel more comfortable paying more for bacon. It’s business. Cruel, manipulative business, but business nonetheless.

Now there are a couple of things we need to clear up. First, the Pig Association is not being completely disingenuous. Summer drought has impacted the growth of corn, a staple in livestock feed. So they’re technically justified in driving up the price of bacon, because the price of cornfeed has gone up from the drought. Second, we should clarify that bacon in the UK is not the same thing as bacon in the US. Remember that over there it’s “tele” instead of TV, and “mobile” instead of “cell phone.” What they call bacon, to us, is actually what we call Canadian bacon.

Hence, as Matthew Yglesias as Slate puts it, “the ‘bacon shortage'” is “actually a global increase in meat prices as a slightly delayed downstream consequence of the increase in corn prices.”

What’s more, NY Daily notes that it probably won’t affect the US much. Despite corn prices and drought affecting livestock here, the USDA says we have plenty of tasty, tasty bacon.

Now that seems a bit more harmless. Now you might still be upset about all of that corporate stuff I said up there, ham-fistedly (see what I did there?) swearing revenge on bacon suppliers by … what, exactly? Not buying bacon? You won’t last a week, internet.

What did you think of the bacon shortage? Did you fall for it? Are you relieved that it’s a hoax?