Poetic Costco College Admissions Essay Gets Student Into Stanford, Yale, Columbia And Cornell
Ivy League hopefuls to colleges like Yale and Stanford shouldn’t discount the power of the admissions essay, or, it seems, of Costco samples.
Brittany Stinson found out Thursday that she’d gotten into an impressive five Ivy League schools based partly on the strength of her stand-out admissions essay. Her topic wasn’t becoming the first woman president or discovering a cure for a cancer, but instead a nostalgic essay about exploring Costco as a child, reported Business Insider.
“Managing to break free from my mother’s grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother’s eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon-sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial-sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco.”
Brittany managed to get into Stanford, Yale, Columbia, Cornell and the University of Pennsylvania. The highest acceptance rate among them is 17 percent, and Stanford and Columbia both allow in just 7 percent of their tens of thousands of applicants, reported College Simply. Costco was probably the last thing on most of their minds when it came to impressing these notoriously picky schools.
“Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar-fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I’ve developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well- mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity.”
Admissions advisors often say they are looking to see if students can think outside of the box when reading these essays, and it’s obvious that Brittany was able to do so. Using a place as mundane as Costco to show off your intellect is a genius way to reveal a mind that doesn’t see barriers. It’s no wonder she was such a hit at Stanford and Yale.
“While enjoying an obligatory hot dog, I did not find myself thinking about the ‘all beef’ goodness that Costco boasted. I instead considered finitudes and infinitudes, unimagined uses for tubs of sour cream, the projectile motion of said tub when launched from an eighty foot shelf or maybe when pushed from a speedy cart by a scrawny seventeen year old. I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty-three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will? I experienced a harsh physics lesson while observing a shopper who had no evident familiarity of inertia’s workings. With a cart filled to overflowing, she made her way towards the sloped exit, continuing to push and push while steadily losing control until the cart escaped her and went crashing into a concrete column, 52? plasma screen TV and all. Purchasing the yuletide hickory smoked ham inevitably led to a conversation between my father and me about Andrew Jackson’s controversiality. There was no questioning Old Hickory’s dedication; he was steadfast in his beliefs and pursuits – qualities I am compelled to admire, yet his morals were crooked. We both found the ham to be more likeable–and tender.”
Brittany’s original prompt was to show off a skill that she thought had not been fully highlighted by the application process. What she chose was the creative and critical thinking that she recalled from spending time in Costco as a child.
“I adopted my exploratory skills, fine tuned by Costco, towards my intellectual endeavors. Just as I sampled buffalo chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart–one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious. I sampled calculus, cross country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world. Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest. My intense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought; this is what defines me. Costco fuels my insatiability and cultivates curiosity within me at a cellular level. Encoded to immerse myself in the unknown, I find it difficult to complacently accept the ‘what’; I want to hunt for the ‘whys’ and dissect the ‘hows.’ In essence, I subsist on discovery.”
The hundreds of thousands of high school students who didn’t land a slot at Yale, Stanford or another top tier school this year are probably staring at this admissions essay wondering where their own went wrong — perhaps even heading to their local Costco to buy a hot dog for inspiration.
[Image via Tim Boyle/Getty Images]
