Mary-Louise Parker’s New Memoir Finally Addresses Billy Crudup Leaving Her While Pregnant For Claire Danes

Mary-Louise Parker has never openly hinted at her scandal with Billy Crudup until now. If you aren’t familiar, Parker dated actor Billy Crudup from 1996 to 2003 until the actor left Parker while pregnant for a much younger actress named Claire Danes. At the time, this was when Danes was only known for the ill-fated show My So-Called Life and hadn’t yet hit her stride with the Showtime series Homeland.

Nevertheless, many forgot about the story until Danes was asked about it while on The Howard Stern Show. As “the other woman,” the actress had a surprising reaction to the whole thing.

“I was just in love with [Crudup], and needed to explore that and I was 24… I didn’t quite know what those consequences would be.”

Needless to say, Danes moved on from Crudup and went on to marry British actor Hugh Dancy.

But what about Mary-Louise Parker? She moved on with her life as well, but in her new memoir Dear, You, she writes about one of her lowest moments while in the back of a cab in New York City.

While she never mentions Crudup by name anywhere in the book, anyone familiar with the story can pick up that Parker had a bit of a moment in the back of that cab related to her situation.

Instead of writing a letter to Crudup or even making it out to be about the actor, she instead apologizes to the cab driver she yelled at when he got lost driving her to an appointment. She rehashes the moment in a painstaking way.

In a letter titled “Dear Mr. Cabdriver,” she writes that as she cursed and yelled at the cab driver, he proceeded to kick her out of the cab and shouted, “I don’t want you anymore.”

This was the moment she chose to reflect on.

“No one does
My voice was shot and I barely got out
Look at me
You turned at looked, I think for the first time…
My life is worse than yours in this moment.
I wailed
I am alone. Look, see? I am pregnant and alone. It hurts to even breathe.
Your hand slowly went to your mouth
I’m trying to get through it but I’m by myself every night and every morning and no one, nothing helps. I’m sorry I yelled. I can’t get my shoes on anymore. Please, I know I am awful, it’s been made clear but look at me please.”

The actress goes on to write an apology of sorts to the cab driver.

“I didn’t know your tragedy or hardship and it was grossly unfair of me to compare my life to yours. I am aware of my good fortune. What I don’t have to struggle for that makes my life easier than most. I have thought of you and know you wouldn’t remember me but I am sorry.”

Mary-Louise went on the Today show to promote her new memoir, and host Savannah Guthrie brought up the scandal that she somewhat addresses. Parker when on to say that it was less about what was going on in her life at the time, which she still keeps private to this day, and more about the stranger she met, whose own situation she didn’t consider at the time.

Parker went on to say that since she was so attached to her own situation and her own unhappiness, she was unable to rise above her own circumstances to really connect with the cab driver. At that moment, she just felt persecuted. Of the cab driver, she said that he held up a mirror to her face, and she has been haunted by him because of how she failed to recognize his own hardship, whatever that might have been.

[Photo by Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images for Esquire]

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