Rihanna On Chris Brown: I Thought I Could Change Him

rihanna coverRihanna, despite her fame and popularity, apparently fell into the same trap that keeps thousands of women in abusive relationships: She thought her love could change her abusers behavior.

Rihanna and her then-boyfriend Chris Brown made headlines in 2009 when news broke that the reason they missed the Grammy awards was because he had beaten her the night before. In a new interview with Vanity Fair, Rihanna discusses why she took Brown back in the years following the incident.

“I was that girl,” Rihanna said. “That girl who felt that as much pain as this relationship is, maybe some people are built stronger than others. Maybe I’m one of those people built to handle s*** like this. Maybe I’m the person who’s almost the guardian angel to this person, to be there when they’re not strong enough, when they’re not understanding the world, when they just need someone to encourage them in a positive way and say the right thing.”

Even though things didn’t work out with Brown, Rihanna said she hasn’t changed the way she looks at life or at other people.

“I always see the best in people,” Rihanna said. “I hope for the best, and I always look for that little bit of good, that potential, and I wait for it to blossom.”

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As for dating, Rihanna said it is tough for her, but not for the reasons some people might think. According to ABC News, it isn’t the fear of being abused that keeps Rihanna out of the dating game, but rather a desire not to have her private life splashed across tabloid headlines.

“People have this image of how wild and crazy I am, and I’m not everything they think of me,” Rihanna said. “The reality is that the fame, the rumors — this picture means this, another picture means that — it really freaks me out. It made me back away from even wanting to attempt to date.

Following her break-up with Brown the second time, Rihanna has kept a low-profile when dating. Her most significant relationship has been with professional baseball player Matt Kemp, who plays outfield for the L.A. Dodgers. Rihanna said relationship that was over before it started due to paparazzi.

Rihanna said that the two had only been seeing each other for a few months and were still getting to know each other.

“I liked his vibe, he was a good guy, and then paparazzi got us on vacation in Mexico,” Rihanna said. “He handled it well; I didn’t. I got so uncomfortable because now what? He’s not even able to be seen with [another] girl, because I’m dragged back into headlines that say he’s cheating on me, and I don’t even [really] know this guy.”

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Rihanna expressed some amusement at the fact that tabloids try to connect her to guys who she just happens to be talking to. Some of them, Rihanna said, were men she had been introduced to so recently that they had not even exchanged phone numbers.

Rihanna told Vanity Fair that she does sometimes get lonely, but casual flings are not her style.

“I mean I get horny, I’m human, I’m a woman, I want to have sex. But what am I going to do—just find the first random cute dude that I think is going to be a great ride for the night and then tomorrow I wake up feeling empty and hollow?” Rihanna said. “He has a great story and I’m like … what am I doing? I can’t do it to myself. I cannot. It has a little bit to do with fame and a lot to do with the woman that I am. And that saves me.”

[Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Vogue/Vanity Fair]