Jennifer Lawrence recently spoke about what it has been like to have the spotlight of fame thrust upon her and, contrary to what some might think, Ms. Lawrence wasn't at all comfortable with so much popularity in the beginning.
"I picture myself drowning," Jennifer told the New York Times. "Outwardly, I look like I'm having a blast, and I am, at least on some levels. There I was — burp, burp, burp — just a little gal from Kentucky getting discovered by big ol' Hollywood. But inside I'm terrified. In an instant — boom — everyone's listening, everyone's looking."
Ms. Lawrence isn't talking about the person she is now, so many films later, but the younger Jennifer Lawrence fresh off the set of the indie film Winter's Bone and just being launched into stardom in her first performances as The Hunger Games' Katniss Everdeen. Now, more seasoned and less timid, Ms. Lawrence recognizes the changes in her personality.
"I feel more in control. I'm calmer. I know that there's no point to feeling anxious all day, so I try not to. I'm still scared, but it's about different things. Now, I worry about — [Trails off and shifts a bit uncomfortably on the sofa.] O.K., get a hold of yourself, Jennifer. This is not therapy."
Of course, Lawrence would have to be more seasoned to be able to act so boldly in today's Hollywood. For instance, maybe that Kentucky girl would be just a little too shy to contact Amy Schumer as directly as Jennifer reveals she did, when asked how the two women became such good friends.
"I emailed her after I saw Trainwreck and said: 'I don't know where to get started. I guess I should just say it: I'm in love with you.' We started emailing, and then emailing turned to texting," Lawrence said, according to Page Six.
In the beginning, Jennifer felt less influenced by fame and Hollywood lifestyles by keeping herself home and away from the limelight, but Ms. Lawrence says she's found a happy medium.
"I realized at some point that I can live this life in my own way, that there are ways of joining Hollywood without being someone other than myself. For example, I don't have to go to the Chateau Marmont to have a birthday party. I can just have it at my house."
"I believe in myself more, and that makes things easier. Early on, you wear clothes you don't want to wear or say the sound bite you didn't want to say because you're afraid to speak up or be rude. And then you start to feel like a puppet. Now I just speak up. 'No, I know what my hair looks like when you do that, and I don't like it. No, we're not gonna just try it. I've already tried it.' But things are tougher, too."
Ms. Lawrence explored the other side of the coin as well.
"I can get movies fully greenlit, and hundreds of people are devoting years of their lives to something that may not be happening otherwise. Does that mean it's good? I can't be the only one with an opinion around here," Jennifer said. "I'm really afraid that I sound like I'm complaining, which I'm totally not. I'm just explaining."
[Featured image: Jennifer Lawrence courtesy of Jason Merritt/Getty Images]