Hugh Hefner Shuns Fancy Playboy Mansion Food, Dines on Jelly Donuts and Lipton Soup

It seems that when it comes to food, Hugh Hefner’s tastes in cuisine are about as varied and complex as his taste in women, which is to say not at all varied and complex.

The Playboy mogul is certainly getting on, but in later years, has been able to revive his swinging lifestyle due to the medical advances that make it possible for a man closer to 100 than 30 to perform in the bedroom. But over the half-century Hefner has dominated the world of flesh mags and all the trappings that come with them, his taste in females has been steady- buxom, tanned women with long blonde hair.

And in the dining room, Hef is much like he seems to be in the bedroom- a man of deeply seated habit. While guests of the Playboy Mansion dine on inspired dishes featuring mousses and reductions and lots of words en francais, the empire’s patriarch’s tastes run far simpler.

According to a chef at the Playboy Mansion, Hef orders from a menu of about 31 options, but meals like breakfast and lunch are a jelly donut and soup and crackers, respectively. The Playboy Mansion kitchen guy explains:

“Lamb chops are his favorite meal, and he has that for dinner once a week… It’s a little embarrassing because we do such insane, great food for the guests who come on the property, but he’s just a regular Midwestern gentleman who likes his Lipton noodle soup with his saltine crackers.”

And silicone orgies! But other than that, total midwestern gentleman! The whole scoop on Playboy food is revealed in Gourmet, where a visiting reporter- true to the chef’s assertion that cuisine for those other than Hef is inventive- reports she “dined on tuna tartare with avocado mousse, lobster ravioli with black cherry tomatoes, and a sesame pear tart with strawberries and fresh mint oil.”

We imagine it was like eating dinner in the finest of titty bars.