Witch Solves Silicon Valley’s Biggest Tech Issues By Ridding Computers And Smartphones Of ‘Evil Spirits’

Witch Reverend Joey Talley helps the world’s brightest techies in Silicon Valley rid their computers and smartphones of “evil spirits.” The majority of Reverend Talley’s calls for assistance are undemanding requests for her help in preventing an impending virus or hack.

Wicca witch, Reverend Jo Ellen Michelle Talley, from the San Francisco Bay area, says she fixes office problems that just won’t go away due to being possessed by demons.

She welcomes all problems–big or small. No issue is too dangerous or unusual for her to tackle using her Tarot cards, private consultation, custom spellwork, and more.

SF Weekly talked with Talley who recounted how she and her witchcraft helped a startup company in the Bay Area that was having technical issues.

“I don’t know anything about electronics, but I got the spirit out. I really like dealing with demons.”

Companies also retain witch Talley for legal counsel and support.

SF Weekly wrote how surprising it is that companies entrust witch Talley with critical office equipment and legal issues.

“Talley says that when companies are threatened with litigation, she can cast spells to “divert” (one of her pet words) the plaintiff or the plaintiff’s attorney. It’s all child’s play for her, no more taxing than donning the floppy hats that announce her professional uniform.”

In addition to helping Silicon Valley with their technical malfunctions and legal matters, witch Talley performs monthly moon rituals with a handful of female clients who gather together and chant into a cauldron.

The women fall in and out of trances and eventually wound up partaking in the dining pleasure of a vegetarian potluck.

Men are not invited to these monthly rituals, says Reverend Talley.

“I used to invite men but they were just there to get laid. They had no interest in goddess worship, and that’s very annoying when you’re trying to reach the divinity.”

As far as office equipment going on the fritz, Talley shares her approach.

“I’ll make charms for them. I like to use flora.”

However, if a device is already compromised, or if office equipment isn’t acting right, the witch uses Jet, a stone that is said to alter energy waves. If all else fails, witch Talley says she casts a spell over an entire office to protect against annoying spirits.

Wicca witch Reverend Joey Tally has three master’s degrees and more than 40 years of experience. Technical problems are not the only ones Talley tackles. She is routinely called upon to debug people’s technical difficulties with spiritual energy.

Wicca witch Reverend Joey Talley’s services are not cheap. The witch charges $200 per hour of service. However, phone consultation is free.

[Featured image via Joey Talley/YouTube]