Barack Obama Offered 50 Cows For Daughter Malia’s Hand In Marriage

While Barack Obama spends much of his time, in his capacity as President, at the White House, another one of his duties is to travel the world representing the United States.

As such, ahead of his forthcoming trip to Kenya in July, Obama has received a curious proposition, one he may only get once in his lifetime. That proposition came from a Kenyan lawyer named Felix Kiprono, who expressed an interest in the president’s 16-year-old daughter Malia.

So interested is Kiprono that he has offered Barack 50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats for Malia’s hand in marriage, an offer no one thinks Obama will be interested in. After all, the grounds at the the White House couldn’t possibly contain all that livestock.

Kiprono told reporters that it’s not about money but rather the fact that he truly loves Malia, and plans to surprise her when she comes to visit by tying a plant around her head and giving her some mursik to drink, which is a type of Kenyan sour milk.

In explaining his intentions Kiprono said, “I got interested in her in 2008. As a matter of fact, I haven’t dated anyone since and promise to be faithful to her. I have shared this with my family and they are willing to help me raise the bride price.”

The Kenyan lawyer added, “People might say I am after the family’s money, which is not the case. My love is real.”

For the time being, Kiprono said he is drafting a letter to Obama which he intends to give him when he comes to visit, in which he will officially ask to marry Malia.

Kiprono proclaimed to reporters in Kenya, “If my request is granted, I will not resort to the cliche of popping champagne. Instead, I will surprise her with mursik, the traditional Kalenjin sour milk. As an indication that she is my queen, I will tie sinendet, which is a sacred plant, around her head. I will propose to her on a popular hill in Bureti near my father’s land where leaders and warriors are usually crowned.”

Concluding, “Ours will be a simple life. I will teach Malia how to milk a cow, cook ugali and prepare mursik like any other Kalenjin woman.”

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