A Malaysian woman was so traumatized by the B.O. of a fellow passenger on an AirAsia flight from Singapore to Sydney, Australia that she penned an open letter to a man we will call Satan’s Anus — a man she says smelled like the “anus of satan.”
She began her letter to Satan’s Anus innocently enough.
“You do not know me but I was seated in front of you during the flight from Singapore to Sydney on April 12th.”
“What I had initially thought to be a routine flight turned out to be a once in a lifetime experience – and it was all because of you.”
“I am writing this letter to thank you personally.”
— Ryan Broderick (@broderick) May 12, 2015
It was not only the smell wafting from Satan’s Anus that disturbed Lau Mun Yee. Other annoyances made the young woman’s 8-hour flight a nightmare.
“Despite my common economy seat, you offered me a full back massage by repeatedly kicking the back of chair. To date, I have yet to regain full mobility of the lower half of my body. But since I am single, I suppose I don’t have much use for it anyway.”
She goes on to criticize Satan’s Anus for his booming voice.
“I did not pay for the in-flight entertainment package and I was worried that I might get bored. But my concerns were unnecessary. You were talking so loudly, as if your friend was seated in the cargo hold rather than right next to you.
“Perhaps she’s hard of hearing? This might strike you as odd but for the first time in my life, I wished I had a hearing impairment too.”
— icequeen (@2borrealis) May 11, 2015
After describing the sounds emitting from Satan’s Anus as he chowed down on snacks, Lau Mun Yee described the odor that assailed her senses during the flight from hell.
“The stench was so strong that I turned to check if the old lady seated next to me was still breathing.”
“It was so nice of you to take off your shoes and put your feet between my seat and the plane window. It must have taken considerable effort – it was a small space but you stuck it as close to my face as you possibly could.”
“Your kindness moves me.”
“The sun is rising above the horizon; the sky is bleeding crimson and gold. But I cannot turn to gaze at this everyday miracle because every time I do, I smell the anus of Satan.”
“I had half the mind to pull down the oxygen mask above me. But then I remembered that I was flying on a budget airline, so I’d probably have to pay extra for that.”
Yee told Satan’s Anus that she prayed for deliverance from the horror.
“I have said more prayers in that eight-hour flight than I have in my entire life. I was torn between asking God for strength to endure the rest of the journey and, ‘SWEET GUAN YIN MA, TAKE ME HOME!'”
Yee concluded her letter by telling Satan’s Anus that therapy was required following the ordeal.
Surely, we can all relate to having to deal with annoyances on a flight.
Who else has had an experience like Lau Mun Yee had with Satan’s Anus?
[Image via Instagram/Lau Mun Yee]