Poor Princess Kate. She's had a rum old time of it of late. Pregnancy should be a period to cherish and a time to celebrate, but Kate Middleton's acute and loathsome bouts of morning sickness -- or to give it its medical term, hyperemesis gravidarum -- have knocked the Duchess for six.
So much so that various reports in the media have speculated endlessly, and in some instances, quite wildly, on the state of Kate and the movements of Middleton.
Ask any hardened hack or professor of churnalism who've earned their chops in the gutters of celebrity news and sewers of SEO, and they'll all tell you the same thing -- Kate Middleton's pregnancy is one of the hottest tickets in town right now when it comes to garnering the page views.
Yet in amongst the avenging army of articles, suggesting that Kate has fled back to the sanctuary of Middleton manor, that she's too embarrassed to appear in public due to her "bloated features," and that the "hellish" pregnancy has put her off having any more kids for life, the only unifying factor that binds all these half-baked rumors and stretched truths together is that Kate is suffering from a severe pregnancy sickness, which has caused her to cancel a string of planned public engagements.
So what's a Duchess to do? Well no one really knows how or in what manner Princess Kate has chosen to deal with her own particular brand of hypermesis gravidarum.
Respected British broadsheet The Telegraph thought they'd address the issue by devoting an entire article to the nagging question, "Just how pregnant is Kate Middleton?"
But the Duchess needs practical solutions and hands on pumps, not philosophical pondering and fingertips on keyboards.
Determined to help Kate in her hour of need, two American entrepreneurs have valiantly answered the call to help an overseas Princess in distress, and have come to Kate's rescue with a little product called Mommy Water.
"There's really nothing in the market like this," explained Evan DeMarco, CEO of Lifestyle Nutrition Labs, to the Sacramento Business Journal.
So what is Mommy Water? Well Kate Middleton is soon to find out, because the Sacramento based business have already mailed samples of their product to the Duchess of Cambridge.
Here's the science part: Mommy Water is a prenatal vitamin formula in a powder form that can be added to water. It promises quick nutrient absorption and a formula that is gentle on the stomach and can help combat morning sickness.
Who knows? Perhaps Mommy Water can succeed where hordes of highly-skilled royal physicians have failed, and cure Princess Kate's morning sickness for good. The Duchess may even like it so much, she'll endorse it and give it the royal seal of approval. Now wouldn't that be a fairy-tale ending for everyone involved?