Don’t Feed Your Kids Chicken Wings: It Makes Them Aggressive, Claim Scientists

New scientific research has indicated that kids who chomp chicken off the bone are likely to be a lot more aggressive than those who eat pre-cut chicken.

Sounds crazy doesn’t it? Yet in a world where most of our food is mashed, mauled, frozen, fried, refined, reformed, processed, and packaged before it gets to say hello to our lips, anything’s possible.

Apparently, if your kid is playing up and getting a bit rowdy, then all a stressed parent close to an artery bursting rage needs to do is take away their offspring’s chicken leg or wing and replace it with something a little less primitive.

Let’s be honest, gnawing on the limb of a dead bird does seem a little bit prehistoric at times.

Should it really come as any surprise that the devouring of flame-cooked flesh in such a manner awakens the inner savage in us all and makes every man and their dog a little bit more uncivilized?

Not at all, claim scientists behind the new research, who studied 12 children aged 6 to 10 in an attempt to determine whether food impacts upon our behavior.

The Daily Mirror reported that the team of scientists advised parents to think seriously about what to feed their children at supper.

A spokesperson for the research claimed:

“Since biting food appears to increase activity level, aggression and noncompliance, It may not be wise to serve young children chicken wings shortly before bedtime.”

Picture the scene: The lazy old sun is slowly setting, the beers are flowing, the barbecue is busy cooking up a storm, and the kids start chomping on the chicken wings. Before you know it, all hell breaks loose and chaos reigns supreme, as the kids turn into a pack of wild wolves hell-bent on causing merry havoc.

Sound realistic? Not according to clinical psychologist Dr. Brian Russell, who slammed claims that eating poultry on the bone can have the same effect on your kid as a crash course in under-the-counter steroids.

Dr Russell told Fox News:

“I put absolutely zero chicken stock in this study. I think people have been eating chicken wings and chicken drumsticks for a millennium and I don’t think it’s made them any more aggressive than they otherwise would have been.”

The question remains: How can the doctor be so sure? If we all not only stopped eating chicken wings but meat in general, would we as a world of vegans be a much more civilized and peaceful race with nothing but the occasional bout of flatulence to cause us grief?

After all, if meat is murder, does meat not make us murderous? What do you think? Has this new research ruffled your feathers or do you believe not eating chicken wings is an “egg-cellent” idea?