Is Britney Spears Falling Apart At The Seams?

Britney Spears is no stranger to massive mental meltdowns with a capital ‘M’, but after shaping up, getting back on track and landing her Las Vegas residency last year, Britney fans thought their pop idol’s days of falling apart at the seams in public were well and truly behind her.

Well apparently not. The hard-hitting Daily Mail newspaper have revealed that Britney suffered a major malfunction on stage whilst preforming in Vegas last Friday. Yet fear not Spears fans, Britney’s malfunction was not a neurotic one but merely cosmetic. In fact it’s safe to say that you could even keep Britney’s latest ‘breakdown’ well and truly in the closet. Sown up ‘tight’ so to speak.

Confused? You won’t be. Apparently Britney made the cardinal error of taking to the stage at Planet Hollywood with a hole in her fishnet stockings! Or as the Daily Mail put it: “While successfully maneuvering the vigorous dance moves required for the performance, Britney showed off the puncture in her fishnets on her upper left thigh area.”

Shocking stuff I know! What the hell was Miss Spears thinking? You can almost hear the savage cry of manic news editors up and down the land screaming: “Hold the front page!” When the news of Britney’s bombastic blunder came winging it their way.

There’s nothing quite like a Britney breakdown to bring out the poetry in even the most seasoned of old hacks. Just check this out: “Britney’s 32-year-old muscular thighs proved to be too much for her stockings to handle as Spears sported a hole in them during her Piece of Me revue at Planet Hollywood on Friday.”

And if that’s not enough to bring tears to your eyes and melt the hardest of hearts then read on: “Britney donned a cleavage-baring glittery gold bodysuit which highlighted her curvaceous figure and toned pins. While keeping the maligned pantyhose on, Britney changed into a black, gold and red sparkly pantless ensemble.”

It’s high-brow stuff I’m sure you’ll agree, and just when you think there’s no more words to describe Britney’s fall from grace, you’re hit with the knock-out punch: “The minor wardrobe malfunction didn’t impede Britney’s fancy footwork. Spears could by seen writhing on the floor sporting the ripped fishnets, during the production that highlights 24 of Britney Spears’ biggest hits.”

It’s Toxic stuff for sure, but whatever wear and tear Britney has suffered of late, she still rips it up in style.