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Stevie Ryan Revealed Before Suicide ‘I Was So Lonely And Depressed,’ Was Not On Anti-Depressant Pills

Internet star and TV personality Stevie Ryan, best known for YouTube channel and VH1 comedy series Stevie TV, was found dead Saturday, July 1, 2017, at her place of residence. The L.A. County Coroner’s Office has ruled it as a suicide by hanging of the 33-year-old star. With new information developing in the suicide case, it is revealed that Ryan was off the anti-depressants but felt lonely and depressed.

The news of Ryan’s passing comes days after the actress talked on her Mentally Ch(ill) podcast about depression and loss of a loved one. The apparent suicide news of the American vlogger and TV personality has shocked her fans, and the star was only recently mourning the death of her beloved grandfather.

According to Mercury News, Stevie Ryan had struggled with her mental health in the past decade. She would go into incapacitating depression that would make her not want to leave house or bed for days. She would even suffer from uncontrollable fits of weeping from time to time.

Talking about her grandfather’s death in the recent Mentally Ch(ill) podcast, which she co-hosted with Kristen Carney, Stevie Ryan revealed that she fears that the death of her grandfather will send her “into a deeper depression.” It is reported that Ryan had stopped taking any kinds of mood stabilizers since they all had been ineffective.

Although, it is said that she was undergoing transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) therapy, a noninvasive procedure that utilizes magnetic fields to stir brain nerve cells that in turn helps in improving symptoms of depression. In the said podcast, Ryan revealed that she has suffered from anxiety most of her life but depression was something that came about 10 years ago.

She cleared that she was never diagnosed with bipolar disorder but could not help but feel mood swings that were “so high” and “so low” at times. The internet sensation said that success with YouTube and VH1 were also not helpful to her because rather than feeling happy about it, she felt completely opposite.

“When I was doing well in life, I was so lonely and depressed.”

Stevie Ryan also revealed in the same episode that she was advised the “very heavy drug” Lithium that she read can cause side-effects like weight gain and hair loss. She was “totally off her anti-depressants” and just remembered her grandfather in the recent Mentally Ch(ill) podcast.

“I spent every single summer with my grandparents. They had a beach house in Mexico, and her grandfather was a ‘manly man’ who taught her how to ride motorcycles, dune buggies and horses, as well as to appreciate the beauty of nature. I’m not a religious person. But I feel like he showed me God and heaven on earth and the beauty of nature. I have him to thank for all of that.”

Stevie Ryan’s big break was her YouTube series Little Loca that garnered millions of viewers with her celebrity impressions. She went on to star in her own sketch comedy series Stevie TV soon. She also co-hosted the short-lived Sex with Brody talk show on E! with Brody Jenner and relationship therapist Dr. Mike Dow.

[Featured Image by Kevin Winter/Getty Images]

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