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Thanksgiving Dinner Conversations Politics And Religion: How To Politely Tell People To Shut Up [Video]

By Charisse Van Horn
Published on: 18:37 PST, Nov 23, 2016

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLfMENdUdVfsZzhf-gVv9RdOTidk9WFXh

It’s that time of year again: Thanksgiving. There’s turkey, stuffing, your aunt’s homemade green bean casserole, and that one person who won’t stop talking about politics and religion at the table. Maybe you’re unlucky and have two or even three pundits who want to discuss everything that’s going on in the political realm, and let’s face it — 2016 is a terrible year for politics and religion. From Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton to banning Muslims and reclaiming America for Jesus Christ, some households are going to have all out war this Thanksgiving. Forget about Putin and ISIS, World War III is taking place at John Doe’s house right before the football game. So what is the perfectly polite American host supposed to do in a situation like this? Is there a polite way to tell people to shut up during Thanksgiving dinner?

Fortunately, there is. You don’t have to be victimized (or lobotomized) by the topic of conversation this Thanksgiving. First, you must set ground rules for all the guests, as the Chicago Times suggests. The best way to control the Thanksgiving dinner conversation is to ensure everyone is on the same page. Let the guests know up front that Thanksgiving is when you spend quality time with each other and that topics such as politics and religion simply won’t be tolerated. Politics and religion are two topics known for creating great enmity between husbands and wives, mothers and sons as well as fathers and daughters for centuries. There is no question that politics and religion are the most divisive subjects and they have absolutely no place at the Thanksgiving dinner table. Thanksgiving is a time to reflect upon the things that are wonderful, positive, and helpful in life. It is not a time to debate political ideologies or religious theologies. Set rules and let everyone know that divisive talk will not be allowed at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

While many people expect adults and children alike to abide by the host’s or hostesses’ rules, sometimes additional strategies must be utilized. Some folks will continue to bring up divisive subjects, even when they have been pre-warned. If your Thanksgiving dinner is cooked to perfection but being spoiled by the topic of conversation, there are several things a savvy host can do to take control of the situation.

While many people expect adults and children alike to abide by the host’s or hostesses’ rules, sometimes additional strategies must be utilized. Some folks will continue to bring up divisive subjects, even when they have been pre-warned. If your Thanksgiving dinner is cooked to perfection but being spoiled by the topic of conversation, there are several things a savvy host can do to take control of the situation.

If the Thanksgiving dinner conversation is getting heated, smile, interrupt, and ask the instigator to start speaking about him or herself instead. People love to talk about themselves, and most people agree that they are more interesting than Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, or when the apocalypse will hit. Be polite and ask the instigator a question regarding anything they are interested in or love to discuss. If the instigator has children, ask how they are doing, whether they are enjoying the school year, going to college, etc. Never mind if the kids are sitting at the table scooping a second helping of cranberry sauce on their turkey. If the instigator has a pet, ask them how the pet is doing healthwise. If there are future travel plans, be sure to bring them up. Ask whatever questions are necessary to get the person to stop talking about politics and religion and to focus on themselves instead.

Bon Appétit has a wonderful Thanksgiving etiquette guide and includes a section regarding impolite or political conversations. Here is a passage.

“Guests should behave—and this often means not rising to the conversational bait. If someone starts ranting about religion, money, or politics, you don’t have to roll up your sleeves. A polite “How interesting” should preface a changing of the subject.”

If the instigator continues in a divisive manner, ask to be excused, speak to the offender away from the table, and request that they cease the conversation at once. Remind him or her of the ground rules previously covered and let them know they are spoiling the dinner for everyone else. This can be done in a polite, tactful way and you must convey that you understand that the person feels strongly about their position; but that Thanksgiving isn’t the time for this discussion. Changing the conversation is paramount to ensuring a smooth conversation so everyone may enjoy their Thanksgiving dinner in peace, harmony, and safety.

If you must find another way to change the conversation, because people simply aren’t following along, then suggest playing a game. Have everyone share one thing they are thankful for this Thanksgiving. Add the ground rules that what they are thankful for can’t be related to politics or religion. You might find that some guests have to dig a little to come up with something, but it will be worth the challenge. Just getting your guests to focus on something other than politics and religion can be enough to steer the conversation in a positive direction for the rest of the evening.

With a little creativity, ingenuity, and tact, you can make sure the only thing that gets heated this Thanksgiving is your dinner and not your conversation.

PBS News Hour put together some tips regarding difficult and troubling Thanksgiving conversations and steps you can take to rectify the situation. You may see that video below. See the video above for vintage holiday etiquette tips and tricks.

If all else fails and you feel you’re going to lose it, then you might want to seek help. Lizzie Post (Emily Post’s great-great-granddaughter) has a Thanksgiving etiquette hotline and the phones are staffed. You can ask questions regarding Thanksgiving dinner conversation and etiquette and find tips and solutions to help you make it to Christmas without giving up your sanity.

[Featured Image by Kaspars Grinvalds/Shutterstock]

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