Justin Bieber is being sued for using a stolen credit card to purchase a penis enlargement. In what can only be described as
a completely true story or perhaps just another example of a crazily litigious whackadoo, an actual court case has been filed against the pop superstar for the stolen enhancement surgery.
The lawsuit also claims that Bieber has been cheating on girlfriend Selena Gomez with Ke$ha, Rihanna and Penelope Cruz. Why that information is relevant probably boils down to the plaintiff being off their rocker.
The lawsuit was filed in Michigan by a man who claims to be the father of Selena Gomez.
Also included in the lawsuit is a complaint that the bazillionaire singer borrowed $426.78 for an abortion. According to the lunatic plaintiff:
“Bieber has cost me $426.78 and never paid me back. This money was used as abortion money because Justin Bieber got my daughter Selena pregnant in my bedroom, on my canadian bear rug.”
The crazed court filer then goes after Bieber’s mentor Usher:
“Usher Raymond came to my house on the forth (sp?) of july 2012 and sodomized me with a firework and lit it inside my anal area while blaring kate perry [sic] firework song in my ear drums.”
Then the case gets funny:
“[Bieber] gave selena a std and Bieber stole my credit card to buy him and sean p-ditty combs cocaine to use in drug free school zones.”
Those complaints are followed with:
“Bieber also got a penis enlargement with my stolen american express card. “
The man says Bieber’s actions have turned him into an “emotion mess” which should lead to America boycotting Justin Bieber.
I have a feeling the Justin Bieber penis enlargement lawsuit is going to be the strangest of 2012.