Posted in: Odd News

Darth Vader’s Wife Reportedly Punched In The Face

Darth Vader's Wife

Darth Vader’s wife was reportedly punched in the face by an Englishman during a heated domestic dispute, according to The Huffington Post. Before you start pouring over your Blu-ray box set in a desperate search for this missing piece the Star Wars puzzle, it’s worth noting that this particular incident took place on the other side of the silver screen.

Here’s what happened: Darth Vader, a man who was once known as Mark Nokes before he officially changed his name years ago, was accused of sleeping with 35-year-old Ikbal Hare’s girlfriend. Not surprisingly, it didn’t take long for the exchange to turn violent. At one point during the scuffle, Hare allegedly threw a wild punch that missed its intended target. As a result, Lord Vader’s wife took a blow to the cheek.

The Express & Star reports that Mrs. Vader attempted to step between her husband Darth and his accuser during the scuffle. The end result was a bruised cheek and an amusing news story.

After the alleged assault, Hare fled the scene of the crime with several individuals hot on his heels. However, police wouldn’t locate and arrest the suspect until two days later at his girlfriend’s home. Apparently punching Darth Vader’s better half isn’t worthy of an all-points bulletin.

For his crimes against the Sith Lord, Hare — who pleaded guilty to possessing a bladed article, assaulting Vader’s wife, and disorderly behavior — is presently staring down 18 months worth of probation. In order to make sure the guy keeps his temper in check during future confrontations, Hare will also be made to attend an anger management course. The cherry on this legal dessert is the 200 hours of community service the assailant has waiting for him down the road.

Darth Vader’s wife will reportedly survive the ordeal without any permanent damage. Lord Vader, meanwhile, should probably brush up on his force powers.

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76 Responses to “Darth Vader’s Wife Reportedly Punched In The Face”

  1. John Jenkins

    So a guy changes his name to Darth Vader, and then he ducks a punch that hits his wife in the face. I think that makes it even, under the circumstances.

  2. Todd Green

    Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to this, may God have mercy on your soul.

  3. Todd N Cliff

    Wow, so many questions…first, why did this idiot change his name to Darth Vader? Why did his wife stay with him after that? How is it that he gets dates?(unless he's got an awesome light saber) and why in the hell is he in the news?

  4. Anonymous

    I quit working at shoprite and now I make $35h – $80h…how? I'm working online! My work didn't exactly make me happy so I decided to take a chance on something new… after 4 years it was so hard to quit my day job but now I couldn't be happier. Heres what I do, EarlyRich.comCHECK IT OUT.

  5. Justin Staller

    ha ha ha a woman got punched in the face that's hilarious.
    it's funny because her husband likes star wars.

  6. Kartik Amal Saraf

    your wife getting punched in the face leads to HEADLINES

  7. Anonymous

    kinda hilarious actually- domestic abuse in a galaxy far far away!

  8. Eric Liu

    This article is the epitome of wit and humor. And not to mention the totally not misleading and non sensational headline!

  9. Gary James Minter

    A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, James Earl Jones, the voice of Darth Vader, gave me a surprise call at the office. His wife liked a letter I had written to Hollywood celebrities and sports stars and singers about AIDS. This was around 1993. It was nice talking to Darth Vader, if only on the telephone!

  10. Jim Ahiers

    What the fuck? I just wasted fifty seconds of my life that I'll never get back reading this embarrassingly stupid story.

  11. Anonymous

    He had to go with Darth Vader because it was the second worst name available. Todd N Cliff was already taken.

  12. Ava Liess

    What's wrong with his wife? Why did she repeatedly try to stand in between her husband (the cheater) and the assaulter? I'm sorry but she is stupid.

  13. Alex Pawson

    Darth Vader's wife is Padme Amidala. So you don't need to "pour over your Blu-ray box set in a desperate search for this missing piece the Star Wars puzzle." It's actually one of the major plot points of Episode 3. OH! And it's the reason Vader gets to truthfully say to Luke "I am your father" and the reason Luke & Leia are related. But don't worry, it's a "mystery" who his wife is! Good job, beat writer for Inquisitr!

  14. Alex Pawson

    Erock Sabolhagen Chris Behringer Ashley Cropper Ashley Mills and all the other Star Wars peeps out there.

  15. Ashley Cropper

    Hahaha. I mean, that's terrible. But still kind of funny in a messed up way

  16. Anonymous

    Ok, WHO did WHAT? I am totally lost here! At first I thought some Brit took a swing at James Earl Jones' wife… which was odd, but after reading the story I'm still not quite sure what O just read and when it happened… or what the HELL it has to do with Star Wars!

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  18. Richard Knack

    Glad I live in the USA – I have a LOT of "bladed objects", and not a one is illegal to own in this country!

  19. Anonymous

    Ironic that the man whose relationship is injured gets in trouble with the law for defending that honor, and the jerk who instigated it is free to consider himself the victor for not getting into legal trouble. I'm guessing that both relationships are still together. No wonder the cops in that situation didn't want to follow through on an arrest. Seems like the wrong guy may have been punished.

  20. Tristen Hakenson

    Yeah punching a girl in the face is fucking hilarious you fucking losers, I don't give a shit what his name is you shouldn't hit a girl in the face even if she jumps in front of your fist. The powers this and the power that, it doesn't matter it's not funny any which way!

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