Teen Mom 2’s Kailyn Lowry finally opened up about her miscarriage, and the effect it had on her marriage with Javi Marroquin, saying that her grief and Javi’s reaction to the loss caused their relationship to “spiral out of control.”
As the Inquisitr previously reported, the devastating event happened earlier in the season, but the reality star was too distraught to discuss her loss on camera until Monday, during an emotional and telling episode. Lowry spoke movingly of her loss, her grief, and the impact that loss and grief had on her already shaky marriage with husband Javi.
While visiting her friend, Sterling, in New Mexico, 24-year-old Kailyn finally broke down, and, in tears, revealed both the physical and emotional toll losing a baby had taken on her and her marriage, revealing, through her tears, that she bled for “days and days” after the miscarriage.
“We didn’t tell anyone we were pregnant,” Kailyn said to her friend. “We were gonna announce on our Christmas cards.”
And it was to her friend, Sterling, that Kailyn revealed the dark turn her marriage took after the loss, admitting that Javi, for some inexplicable reason, seemed to turn against her and hold Kailyn responsible for the loss of their baby. It was that blame, and Javi’s unwillingness to grieve, that has caused a definite rift in his marriage to Kailyn.
“I was in the hospital when I first started miscarrying and immediately when I was released, he was like ‘Do you want to go with me to get a haircut?”’ Kailyn said. Lowry obviously found her husband’s behavior to be incredibly insensitive and baffling, and when she called him out on it, their relationship, Kailyn says, “spiraled out of control.”
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Lowry opened up to her friend about how her husband’s strange, non-response to their loss hurt their marriage.
“And I just looked at him like ‘We’re not grieving together.’ And so that’s when things with him spiraled out of control.
“He was just a different person. He was mean to me, we weren’t communicating. He shut down, it was like a light switch, everything changed.
“I didn’t feel like he was grieving with me or being sensitive to how I felt.”
For Kailyn Lowry, being asked upon release from just having a miscarriage to accompany her husband while he got a haircut was completely ignoring the fact that the two had just suffered an incredible loss.
Furthermore, Kailyn added, Javi wanted her to “get over it” quickly, but in the middle of her grief, Kailyn was reminded of her loss every time she went to the bathroom and had to deal with the actual, physical implications of the miscarriage. While she was still truly in the midst of loss, Javi, Lowry revealed, wanted her to somehow move past it.
“Yeah, I was released from the hospital but I went home and I was still bleeding. So every single time I went to the bathroom I was reminded of it, where he was like ‘OK, you miscarried now I have to get over it, go to work, go about his day.”
On Monday’s episode, Javi apologized to his wife, and admitted he had unfairly blamed Kailyn for the painful miscarriage. He was, Javi said, simply sad and angry and needed someone to take his pain out on — and Kailyn was the most available target.
“I knew it was no one’s fault. It wasn’t your fault, and it wasn’t my fault,” Javi said to Kailyn. “I needed to blame somebody, and I was taking it out on you.” He added, “I’m sorry for being mean to you when it all happened.”
Javi admitted that he had a hard time not blaming Kailyn for their loss because of her physical regimen that includes frequent workouts.
“In my head, I’m thinking, ‘She shouldn’t have went to the gym, she shouldn’t have gone to jiu jitsu,’ or stuff like that. Even though I know it had nothing to do with that.”
Kailyn also shared her advice to other women who have been through miscarriage in a video. She speaks honestly, to a point, that many other mothers who have suffered similar losses try to articulate — that even if the loss is early, or later, it simply does not matter. A loss is a loss, and a mother should be given the chance to grieve, in whatever way she sees fit.
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“It doesn’t matter how far along you are when you have a miscarriage because I feel like… a mom becomes a mother when she finds out she’s pregnant. Everyone grieves differently, everyone grieves for different periods of time. So I think just take the time to grieve and do what you need to do to make yourself healthy again and be ready to take that next step and move forward.”
Kailyn’s willingness to discuss her miscarriage puts a necessary spotlight on miscarriages and the very real grief that accompanies such a loss.
[Photo by Jordon Strauss/Invision/AP]