The sandwich was peanut butter, as if it makes a difference

Florida Man Attacks Pregnant Woman With Sword… And Sandwich

Florida seems to be a Mecca for strange crime. Food-related crime is on the rise, as one man attacked two women wielding a 4-foot sword and a peanut butter sandwich.

Mark Christopher Miller of Winter Haven, Florida, found himself in jail for brandishing a sword and a sandwich, using both to attack two women, one of whom was pregnant, according to the Polk County Sheriff’s Office. The 50-year-old Floridian threatened the two with the sword, and even “poked” the pregnant woman in the stomach with it, notes The Ledger. The woman, who is six-months along, grabbed the sword, effectively stopping Miller from skewering her. He smeared the other woman with the sandwich, according to the arrest report.

According to ABC15, Deputies said the melee began when Miller heard a commotion outside his mobile home on 2500 U.S. 92 West. No. 18A. He was arrested, and thankfully, no injuries were reported. While he was being taken to the Polk County Jail, he reportedly ripped out some of the padding inside the police cab with his teeth.

He was charged with aggravated assault, battery and criminal mischief, the latter-most of which must just be a catch-all for strange crimes involving swords and peanut butter sandwiches.

I don’t know about you, but I might have had my fill of strange crime stories. It can be kind of funny, but dang! People could be getting hurt. Luckily, very few have thus far, but it’s only a matter of time.

What do you think of the story? What would you do if you were attacked with a friggin’ sandwich?