Axl Rose has been branded a “fat bastard” by Slash’s brother, who for good measure has also trashed hopes of a Guns N’ Roses reunion and told obsessive fans of the band to get a life.
When reporters began to circulate that Slash and Axl Rose have finally put an end to the bitter feud that has existed between the two metal heads for time beyond mind, the first words on the lips of every rocker who had proudly sported a bleached blonde mullet and fake leather jacket in the late 1980s was, “Are the original line-up of Guns N’ Roses finally reuniting?”
Original drummer Steven Alder was rumoured to be shaking with trepidation at the thought that the five original horseman of the cock rock apocalypse could reunite and finally give the music of Guns N’ Roses to the fans how they really deserved it – raw and uncooked! Or as some cynics suggested – flabby and overdone.
Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst claimed sole responsibility for playing peacemaker in a rock n’ roll feud which has divided the Guns N’ Roses fan base into pro Slash and pro Axl camps.
Obviously in his oils at the thought of Slash once more laying down the big riffs for Axl to dance like a funky serpent too, the Bizkit man enthusiastically shouted to the crowd at this year’s Reading Festival that he alone was responsible for mending the bridges between Axl and Slash, which would allow the original line-up of Guns N’ Roses to thunder across like the second coming and straight into the hallowed hall of rock reunions.
“I’d like you to know that we’re responsible for Axl and Slash being back together. We had a meeting and it went really well.”
Fans everywhere began to salivate at the thought of a bunch of middle-aged millionaires reuniting to play the classic songs they had pulled from the fire in their starry-eyed youth.
Like the odd storm cloud across skies of blue, some asked if Guns N’ Roses did reunite, could the original line-up rock with the same swagger they boasted when they lived in dreams instead of mansions and played like their lives rather than their pay checks depended upon it?
“Hell yes!” was the cry from most quarters, but take any parade and there’s always someone who will p**s on it, and in this case it just happens to be Slash’s brother, Ash Hudson.
Embarking on what has been described as a “digital assault” on Axl Rose, Slash’s bro took to Facebook and called the Guns N’ Roses singer a “fat bastard” and “Fat Elvis.” He event went as far as to produce this shocking meme.
Ash also wrote on Facebook that people need to grow up and move on from the talk of a possible reunion.
“They were the best of all time no where to go from there. They captured lightning in a bottle. Nothing left to prove. It’s done. Are the stones the Stones you grew to love in the 70’s? F**k No! Now a circus act. You loved Axl when he was beautiful now he’s Fat Elvis. So move on people. Buy slash’s WOF album.”
Keen to make his feelings clear to the “obsessed” legion of Guns N’ Roses fans, Ash adds that they need to get a life, and what’s more, he firmly believes Axl’s weight issues would render any reunion a huge disappointment.
“You obsessed fans of guns n roses. F**k a reunion. If you love guns enjoy what they made and move on. To dream of the opportunity that you could see them all together to me is like saying ‘I love the guys who invented my door in my apartment.’ I walk thru it all the time. I wish they would get back together and invent a new door. What’s wrong with the door you have? It still works. You still use it.
“It’s all so dumb to me. Not sure if I’m making myself clear. But grow up. Get a life. If I get one more f****r asking me will guns do a reunion tour I’m blocking them. Axl is a fat bastard and the reunion would only be a disappointment and an action that would result in criticism. Just saying.”
Guns N’ Roses came, they saw, they kicked a**, and then grew bloated and redundant as they were put out to graze on the fat of the land. Would it not be kinder to leave them living the good life in open country as opposed to gratuitously grinding the organ and once again forcing the mischievous monkeys to jump through the hellish hoops of yet another rock n’ roll circus?
(Image Credit: Scott Gries/Getty Images)