How To Write A Passive Aggressive Note

1. Address the intended recipient as if you had no clue who they might be.
2. Use anthropomorphism.
3. State the obvious.
4. Suggest highly improbable consequences.
5. Suggest a solution to the problem in the way that patronizes the reader.
6. Deflect your thoughts to a secondary source.
7. Use overly dramatic punctuation.
8. Place note in a completely inappropriate place.

[via Reddit]