Ginnifer Goodwin admits she’s been on Weight Watchers for over two decades

Big Love‘s Ginnifer Goodwin admits that in order to maintain her third wifely shape, she has been using the Weight Watchers diet- for 23 years.

The 32-year-old actress said she was a “heavy little girl,” and that sometime around the age of nine, she had an epiphany:

“I really did go through a period when I was very little when I remember realizing that vegetables did not come out of the ground deep-fried,” she recalled. “I changed my eating habits in fourth grade because I was a heavy little girl, and I was unhappy. And I remember my mom making dinner for me the first night that I was on this new program, and I burst out crying because the vegetables were green, and I thought she was trying to starve me to death.”

Goodwin, who grew up in Tennessee, says that she has a “shooting weight” she tries to stay near to not feel listless or “freak out” about seeing herself on screen. However, she says no matter the number she reaches on a scale, she “hates” seeing herself in a bathing suit. But while she says she’s “confident,” it doesn’t sound like spending more than two thirds of her life on a diet has given her much more goodwill toward her body:

“I can be indulgent for six month[s] and put on some weight, but I still never actually get to the point of being unhappy and self-destructive,” she said. “And working with my amazing stylist, I’m really good at hiding things, so I’m always pretty confident.”