Shark Subway Update: MTA Speaks!

So yesterday’s shark subway story was so totally getting blamed on Discovery Channel regardless of the outcome, right?

After all, the “week of shark” subway appearance couldn’t possibly be anything but viral marketing for Discovery’s biggest programming block, could it?

And everyone was already mad at Discovery for tricking Americans with their Shark Week kick off fakery and the “Megalodon” fiasco — even Wil Wheaton yelled at the channel.

Let’s walk it back. So yesterday, in the middle of Shark Week (natch), subway riders were shocked to discover that their half past midnight Queens bound train wasn’t only soaked with urine and riddled with trash — it was also infested with sharks.

The shark subway sighting was a curiosity on the web all day Wednesday, with pics and speculation abounding regarding the origin of the deceased shark on the subway across the web.

Firstly, Discovery is incensed that simply because they deliberately tricked everyone into thinking a long-extinct shark was terrorizing oceans that it would place a dead shark on a Queens-bound subway train. In a statement, they huffed:

“Shark Week is all about conservation, so it deeply saddens us that someone would think that this was funny or in any way connected to our celebration of sharks.”

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The MTA was at bat next, addressing the shark subway sighting and possibilities of closures through 2015 at random stations due to the incident:

“Around 12:30 am last night, the conductor aboard a Ditmars-bound N train at Queensboro Plaza reported that there was a shark aboard the train in car #8994. The conductor isolated the car and the train proceeded to Ditmars Boulevard terminal. Upon arrival at Ditmars Boulevard, a Train Service Supervisor reported the shark was dead and he placed it in a garbage bag and disposed of it in the trash. The Road Car Inspector on duty at Ditmars Blvd. normalized the car and returned the train to customer service.”

By normalized the car, we assume the MTA means the Road Car Inspector peed in seven places, dumped a curry shrimp on the only available seat, and grabbed someone’s butt.

So we’re still no closer to solving the subway shark mystery — our guess? 12:30 PM, Queens bound train… forgetful sushi chef going home. What do you think?