Rebecca Martinson Sorority Girl Ranter The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Rebecca Martinson, the Delta Gamma sorority girl who soared to internet notoriety when Funny or Die‘s Michael Shannon did a reading of her profanity-laced email, may have a job offer as a result of her unwanted fame. If you’ve somehow missed that Not Safe For Work performance, scroll down and watch that video now. It has something to offend absolutely everyone, and it’s hilarious.

As I reported yesterday, the sorority girl who made the phrase “c**t punt” famous has turned in her resignation in the wake of the mockery that erupted when her rant escaped into the wild.

At that time, I chose not to reveal Martinson’s name. Hey. Don’t judge. I went to a girl’s high school, and I thought all young ladies talked like that.

College junior Rebecca Martinson just got caught.

However, her name is now being widely reported…well…everywhere. In addition to the email, her equally colorful tweets have now been uncovered. As I said before, this young lady doesn’t hold back.

And she doesn’t like anyone. Any sexual orientation, any color or creed, any age…she has something mean to say about absolutely everybody.

And you know the old saying: If you can’t say something nice, come sit by me.

Rebecca Martinson on sex: “Your d**k is so used I wouldn’t sell it in a second hand store” and “I like my men like I liked my karate movies…vaguely asian but white enough so that I can understand what they’re saying.”

On fashion: “The number of people walking around with heinous blonde highlights on campus today is concerning.”

On work opportunities: “Failed another job opportunity today, apparently taking part in an orgy isn’t enough proof that one can effectively work as part of a team.”

Her Twitter account has since been deleted, but you can find a screenshot of some of her most ridiculous tweets right here.

At the end of the day, I suspect every single young lady at Delta Gamma and a very large number of other college-aged girls talk exactly like Rebecca Martinson. Most of them just don’t have her gift for putting drill sergeant quality language into equally funny emails and tweets.

I admit it. I’m not here to throw stones and say “ain’t it awful.” She’s a sorority girl, not a politician.

I’m in it for the laughs. She’s comedy gold, and I think she would make a great comedy writer.

Koa Beck at Mommyish thinks so too and has already posted a paid summer internship offer to the notorious young lady. “Other outlets have called you and your email ‘deranged’ and ‘insane’ for your fierce dedication. But I see the ambition and promise of an enterprising young lady who devotes 150 percent to her team…” Beck wrote.

So far, at the time of this writing, there has been no public comment from Rebecca Martinson.

In case you somehow missed it, here’s Funny or Die‘s Michael Shannon’s dramatic reading of the sorority girl email:

[embarrassed blonde model photo by Mariusz Szachowski via Shutterstock.]