Woman Calls 911, Wants Divorce

Dumb 911 calls always seem to make the news when someone is denied McNuggets or receives a subpar sandwich, but one 911 caller rang up emergency services — because she wanted a divorce.

As is generally the case, the misfiring 911 caller was cited — divorce is not considered an emergency, no matter how much you can’t stand your erstwhile nearest and dearest.

The woman lives in Girard Township in northwestern Pennsylvania, and early Saturday, she called 911 and asked for police to come to her Shadybrook Circle home for assistance in removing her husband from the residence.

As anyone who has been through the sticky machinations of divorce knows, the status of the marital residence is a point of contention — as was played out in the film The War Of The Roses, married couples will often stubbornly dig their heels in and refuse to leave when acrimony sets in, neither wanting to cede control of what is generally a couple’s largest asset.

It seems the Pennsylvania woman who called 911 over divorce was unaware her husband could not be forced to leave the residence, and local news sources report:

“Police say they explained to the woman, whom they are not identifying, that a divorce is a civil matter and that they could not make her husband leave the residence because no crime had been committed … Instead, police have cited the woman for disorderly conduct and misusing the Erie County 911 system.”

As far as dumb 911 calls go, the divorce one isn’t nearly as bad as the people who have called for backup after a bad dining experience or for a ride home from the bar — but after she was cited, it’s also likely the Pennsylvania woman (who was not named in press reports) will take placing a 911 call a bit more seriously.

At least she didn’t ask for cigarettes or phone sex.