Robert Pattinson: “I really hate vaginas.”

Judging by all the fun everyone had with John Mayer’s raunchy Playboy interview and very public, teary mea culpa, de-muzzled celebrities are an endless source of lulziness.

Robert Pattinson, the Harry Potter alum who now plays Edward Cullen in the screen adaptations of the Twilight novels, is a particularly fantastic source of interview WTF quotes. Pattinson famously dissed the character’s creepiness in an interview for E!, saying:

When I read it, it seemed like (grimaces) I was convinced that … Stephenie was … convinced that she was Bella, and uh, and you, it wasn’t, it was like it was a book that wasn’t supposed to be published, like reading her … her sort of sexual fantasy about some — especially when she says that it was based on a dream, and it’s like, “Oh, then I had a dream about this really sexy guy” and she just writes this book about it, and there’s some things about Edward that are just so specific that it’s like, I was just convinced that, that this woman is mad, she’s completely mad, and she’s in love with her own fictional creation and I — sometimes you, like, feel uncomfortable reading this thing, and I think a lot of people feel the same way, that it’s kind of voyeuristic, ah, and it creates this sick pleasure in a lot of ways.

This week, Pattinson got a bit crass in Details, and everyone’s running with one particular quote his Pattziness dropped in the interview:

“I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn’t exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover.”

…and a thousand Twilight induced Valentine’s Day girl-wank sessions ground to a screeching halt. What does that mean, everyone wondered, as the quote ricocheted through the gossip blogosphere? Is R-Pattz just a coochie hater, or does he like boy equipment better? The interview immediately segued to elephants and candy, so nobody knows.

And like Mayer, Pattinson adds in a bit of racial ambiguity:

Rob, did you know that every time you say actor or acting you lower your voice to a whisper?

He’s genuinely startled. “I do?”

Yes, so quietly it’s like you’re saying Negro.

He laughs, lightens up. “What if we were ‘acting‘ like ‘Negroes‘? Then we’d be fucked—we couldn’t hear anything. . . .

So, what do you think? Is Robert Pattinson a gay? Does he just hate women and/or black people? Was his quote clipped? Is Stephenie Meyer crying into her special Mormon underwear?

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