Justin Bieber’s New Haircut Sparks Tired Gender Guessing Gags

Justin Bieber’s new Skrillex inspired haircut debuted on April 6 in Dortmund, Germany.

Like always with Bieber, and his hair, it’s become a polarizing thing.

The 19-year-old’s decision to tame the James Dean pompadour he’s been airing on his Believe tour has inspired reams of pro and anti debate among Bieber’s fans and media commentators alike.

While, lets face it, it doesn’t really matter what opinion anyone holds about a haircut, it’s been interesting — and more than a tad disappointing — to witness the flood of backward assumptions some have made about what really amounts to shaved sides and a fringe.

Taking a snapshot, Perez Hilton dubs Bieber’s haircut “hairiffic” and “unrelated to puberty,” seemingly unaware that Canada’s biggest export has been rocking a taut bod, scandalizing behavior and reduced octaves for some time now.

The UK’s Mirror deemed the teen star’s haircut “dodgy.” Fair enough. But, the tab then goes on to shoot low with this zinger: “The puny pop star appears to have styled his new hairstyle on the amazing and slightly controversial website dedicated to lesbians who look like Justin Bieber.”

Where to begin? The “puny” then “lesbian” association is clearly meant to play on the tedious ‘he’s gay, confused, or getting there’ rumor that seems to follow any male pop culture star who isn’t built like The Rock — on steroids.

Inevitably, The Sun headlines with “Justin Bieb-Her gets girly new hairdo just like Miley and Rihanna.” It’s not only a poor example of journalism (even for a tabloid), it also evidences a decades-old need by mainstream media to rigidly enforce its perceptions of what is “male” and what is “female.” Ditto here.

Aside from being a staggeringly arrogant perspective on something as personal and innocuous as a hairstyle, it also reveals shocking music history amnesia.

Hair In Music History 101:

1: Rihanna, Miley Cyrus, and Skrillex didn’t start the androgynous side-sweep, they just added a shaved dimension — and for that matter shaved hair (on the head) is a traditionally male concept so why it’s now labeled as effeminate is a mystery.

2: Speaking of androgyny as Crushable does in its salty comment on Bieber, each of these rock heroes — David Bowie, Bryan Ferry (Roxy Music), to Jarvis Cocker (Pulp) and Brett Anderson (Suede) — showcased the short back, side-sweep in their time and did it while making timeless music.

3: In fact, Jared Leto, The Waterboys, The Libertines, T-Rex, Pink Floyd, The Beatles (mop), Nirvana, Jack White, Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Extreme, Axl Rose and many more have at one time or another had cascading locks, yet no-one offensively questions their sexuality or gender.

So, the issue must be Bieber’s build. However, in his recent Teen Vogue photo shoot and plentiful shirtless sightings along his Believe tour, the singer’s body has looked anything but feminine. Any chunkier and he’d look like a dumb gym bunny.

So what’s the issue? Ah, height!

At 5ft 6,” Bieber has been judged not tall enough to own Y chromosomes. Tell that to Jackie Chan (5ft 8.5″), Chuck Norris (also 5 ft 8.5″), Sylvester Stallone (5ft 9″), Robert Downey Jr. (5ft 8.5″) and Bruce Lee ( 5ft 7.5 “). All of the above prove absolutely that you don’t need excess inches to pack a punch.

In conclusion; with just a short note to the himself floppy haired Drake Bell that calling a guy a “girl” is something best left to preschoolers. Yes, we can all have fun talking about Bieber’s hair. But lets keep it real and lets keep it intelligent.

To the millions of girls, boys, and men and women out there who dare to mix up their personal style — and hair — with freedom, there should be no place in 2013 for ignorant gender guessing stereotyping, and that includes those aimed at Justin Bieber.