Mother's Day is this weekend, and if this is news to you, you're already behind the curve when it comes to getting her a gift. Best drop everything and start shopping now (as in, before you even finish reading this article).
But what do you do if your mom already has everything and wants nothing? Assuming such platitudes as flowers or food baskets are out, this article will point you to some more "out there" ideas that you might not have thought of. Who knows, you may find just the perfect gift for the mother in your life.
A Feng Shui Consultation: $400 And Up
Does your mom have everything she wants and needs, but still finds herself held back by bad energy flows in her home? No need to fret: Just hire a Feng Shui consultant to look around and teach her how to maximize the arrangement of furniture and bric-a-brac in her home to get the chi flowing.
Be prepared to kick in a few Benjamins for this: Even a telephone consultation will set you back $400, and an in-person one will likely cost considerably more. And that's not including travel expenses. If you don't live in an area with a lot of Feng Shui experts, you'll probably be paying travel expenses, too.
A Psychic Reading: $100 And Up
If your mom's chi is just fine, but she's otherwise plagued by ghosts, unresolved issues in her past life, or a nagging desire to know what's going to happen to her next week, you could hire a psychic to come in and do his or her thing. Although your favorite head shop may have a psychic working for tips in the back room, up your game a little bit and hire one to come to her home instead.
If you want to stay away from head-shop psychics and hire an in-home consultation from a good psychic who's respected in his or her field, check out Best Psychic Directory for one in your area. In-home readings start at about a hundred bucks per.
A Home-Cooked Meal By A Professional Chef: $150 And Up
If your mom is a woman who a) loves fine dining and b) doesn't mind having a stranger tooling around in her kitchen (and what mom doesn't love having strangers in her kitchen?), you can always get her a gift with a more tangible outcome than a Feng Shui consultation or a psychic reading. So why not hire a personal chef to come in and make her a meal?
Believe it or not, this is really a thing. Depending on the chef you hire, when you hire him, and what kind of food he prepares, you can get a home-cooked meal by a professional for around a Benjamin and a half, and going up. He or she will do the grocery shopping and the cleanup, and will even package up the leftovers for you! In other words, everything your mom already does, but with you writing a check and a stranger in her kitchen.
What Moms Really Want: Your Time
Gifts large and small, mundane and weird, are all well and good. But 99.9 percent of all moms will tell their adult kids they want the same thing from them: their time. So drop what you're doing this Sunday and CALL YOUR MOTHER. Or better yet, go visit her, whether you bring a gift or not.