Bill Maher ripped into Donald Trump and his White House cohorts in a brutal opening monologue on Real Time Friday. The comedian dissected the events of the previous week, focusing on the surprise departure of former White House Communications Director Hope Hicks, the new Jared Kushner scandal, and Trump’s “galling” comments about the Parkland school shooting.
“Even by normal Trump weeks, this was…” Maher began.
“I mean, so much crazy sh*t happened, I’m just gonna have to go through it chronologically.”
The political commentator started with Hicks, whom he called Donald Trump’s “work wife” and “emotional companion animal.”
“Hope Hicks was voted off the island,” he quipped.
Last week, the 29-year-old became the latest of Trump’s aides to leave the White House. Maher went into the details of Hicks’ responsibilities during the Trump campaign and her relationships with former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski and former White House Staff Secretary Rob Porter.
“Also on her resume, she used to date Corey Lewandowski, who was Trump’s campaign manager and married at the time, and then she dated Rob Porter, who had to leave the White House earlier in the month in a wife-beating scandal,” Maher said.
“You know, I’m not that familiar with soap operas, but I think in the next episode Trump gets amnesia and Mike Pence reveals he’s a woman. I think that’s what happens.”
According to The New York Times, Hicks had been considering leaving her post at the White House for months. She finally quit after testifying to the House Intelligence Committee that her job had required occasionally telling “white lies” for the president.
Maher then took a jab at Kushner, Ivanka Trump’s husband, who currently serves as a senior adviser to his father-in-law.
“So now the prettiest deaf-mute in the White House is Jared.”
“I can say this because my mother was Jewish, he’s too stupid to be a Jew,” the Real Time host added. “I want to see his birth certificate.”
Maher mocked Kushner’s intelligence, jokingly calling him “Jared Palin.” He brought up the news that Kushner’s security clearance was downgraded in the previous week and the rumors that Trump wants White House Chief of Staff John Kelly to get his “grown kids” Jared and Ivanka out of the White House.
The comedian also touched on the latest controversy surrounding Kushner, saying that “every inexplicable f**cked up thing” that happened in the last year was a result of Kushner “trying to get $1.2 billion to pay for a building he shouldn’t have bought.”
The comedian’s comments follow a report from The New York Times about Kushner holding meetings with bank representatives at the White House. According to the report, his meetings involved a discussion of a possible White House job for one of the representatives. While that reportedly didn’t happen, the outlet claims that Kushner Companies, Jared’s family’s firm, did receive $184 million to refinance a Chicago skyscraper he owns.
Maher ended his Real Time monologue by linking the White House’s chaotic week with the ongoing debate on gun control.
“All this chaos makes it very difficult for the NRA to run the country.”
He also brought up a comment Trump made regarding the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooting. At a recent White House gathering, the president said that he “really believe[s]” he would have “run in there even if [he] didn’t have a weapon.”
“Of course, he was talking about the dressing room at the Miss Teen USA pageant,” Maher deadpanned.