‘Donald Trump Is Not A Cannibal,’ The Only Positive Thing Stephen Colbert And Jon Stewart Can Say About POTUS

Donald Trump recently targeted late-night talk show hosts and requested for “equal time,” which is why Stephen Colbert asked Jon Stewart to join him on Late Show to help point out the positive traits of the U.S. president.

Unfortunately, they could only come up with “Donald Trump is not a cannibal.”

Trump attacked late-night show hosts on Saturday via Twitter, calling them “unfunny” while accusing them of using repetitive anti-Trump material. A number of talk show hosts already responded to Trump but Colbert took things a step further by enlisting the help of his former boss, Jon Stewart.

Colbert, a known critic of Trump who has used his talk show to call the POTUS out on many of his controversial acts, took the time to scrutinize the tweet and accept the challenge of giving Trump “equal time.”

Colbert pointed out the wrong use of quotation marks by Trump. According to Colbert, by using the word unfunny in quotes, Trump was actually saying that the late-night show hosts are funny.

Colbert also answered Trump’s call for “equal time” by inviting Stewart on his show to “offer balance” to his “usual unfair slamming” of Trump.

The retired former host of The Daily Show took the stage to loud applause. Stewart, who sported a beard and wore a simple gray shirt and jeans, was asked by Colbert to compliment Trump after his usual monologue.

Colbert started off by comparing Trump’s demand to have equal time on a comedy show despite the election being over to The Big Bang Theory being immediately followed by “The Creationist Bazinga Fun Time Hour” starring Jesus and his roommate, a T-Rex.

Stewart answered with a long pause before asking Colbert for more time. After Colbert urged Stewart to say something about the POTUS, he finally responded with “Donald Trump… is not a cannibal.”

Colbert continued slamming Trump by pointing out that Trump’s own secretary of state called him a “[expletive] moron.” Colbert then said, “not only is that an insult, he gave away Trump’s secret service codename.”

When Stewart said “given the choice between having hot lava poured into” his private parts “and Donald Trump being president,” he balked at his answer before Colbert prodded him to say something positive about Trump. Stewart then replied that he would choose the latter.

Colbert continued, saying Trump “made it easier for employers to deny women birth control.” He then said that “pretty soon the only contraceptive women will have left” will be Trump’s face.

Stewart, who said he was already in the groove, said that Trump is great to women, which Colbert immediately questioned until Stewart gave in and said that Trump is at least “better than Harvey Weinstein” when it comes to treating women.

When Colbert showed a video clip of Trump saying “this is the calm before the storm” while being surrounded by military officials and their wives, Stewart exploded and cursed the president.

“How is all these not the storm,” Stewart asked.


Stewart also lambasted Trump for using the phrase while a number of Americans, including those in Puerto Rico, have yet to recover from the major storms that hit the country in recent weeks.

“What kind of sociopath would use that terminology while people are still literally cleaning up from the storm.”

Stewart then admitted that he could not say anything positive about Trump, so he handed Colbert the microphone so the Late Show host can say something good.

“Donald Trump… is not a cannibal,” was all Colbert could say.

[Featured Image by Evan Vucci/AP Images]