In a deeply emotional essay published by Glamour Magazine on Tuesday, The Big Bang Theory star Melissa Rauch announced that she is pregnant and opened up for the first time about her previous miscarriage.
Rauch revealed that she is expecting her first child with husband Winston Beigel in the fall.
She wrote in the essay that although she was “extremely overjoyed” about her pregnancy, she was also “pretty much terrified” that she could have another miscarriage.
Rauch had a miscarriage the last time she was pregnant.
She wrote that due to her previous miscarriage, she was very reluctant about sharing the news of her pregnancy. Following her own experience of loss and grief due to a miscarriage, all she could think about as she prepared to share the news of her pregnancy was how other women who were mourning after prenatal loss would feel reading about the joyful announcement of her “little bundle on the way.”
Rauch concluded, however, that sharing her experience with others going through similar challenges would help them to face the emotional trauma. According to Rauch, talking about issues surrounding prenatal loss and infertility would help to fight the social stigma attached to it.
Rauch described her experience of miscarriage as “one of the most profound sorrows” of her life. After her miscarriage, she was afflicted with a sense of guilt because she could not avoid feeling that the loss was her fault. She argued that the sense of guilt that many women feel after experiencing prenatal loss could be due to the word “miscarriage” which appears to imply that the loss was due to something that the woman did wrong.
“To me, it immediately conjures up an implication that it was the woman’s fault, like she somehow ‘mishandled the carrying of this baby.'”
Melissa Rauch then went on to advise other women who might be experiencing loss, urging them to “find something, anything to bring you comfort.” However, she admitted the limitation of her advice because “we all process grief differently.”
Rauch, who plays Bernadette in the CBS sitcom The Big Bang Theory, also warned people to be careful about asking women about their reproductive plans due to the trauma it might cause women battling with fertility issues and grieving after prenatal loss.
Rauch illustrated the inappropriateness of frequent inquiries about their reproductive plans that people direct at women by pointing out that men are usually not asked similar awkward questions.
“On the flip side, we’d never inquire of a man: ‘When are ya going to shoot a virile load up in someone and create human life?'”
She also offered advise to women based on her own experience of miscarriage. She assured women grieving after a miscarriage that they are not alone and that millions of other women are experiencing the same problem.
“You are not alone. And, it is perfectly OK to not be OK right now,” Melissa Rauch wrote.
[Featured Image by Christopher Polk/Getty Images]