The liberal media was gloating triumphantly when the story went viral that a new study found Fox News viewers have an average IQ of 80, which just happens to be 20 points below the national average of 100. It must have been quite a disappointment for all those who despise Fox News when it was revealed the study was a hoax.
The study was supposedly conducted by an organization calling itself The Intelligence Institute. A spokesman for the group, P. Nichols, told PJ Media that the study was conducted over four years and involved a sample group of 5000 subjects. Nichols also stated the study was conducted for a Republican group that was out to destroy the Tea Party.
Nichols, who refused to give his first name and used a free Google Voice number as a business telephone, spoke about the motivation behind the study:
“This Republican group had a particular result in mind, and we helped them find it. The way they put it was that they needed to separate the ‘TEA Party’ types from the Republican Party. ‘If your hand has cancer, you want to cut off the hand before it kills you,’ was their explanation of the motivation.”
In a moment of unguarded honesty Nichols admitted the name of his organization was a fake. He attempted to justify his lie by blaming the people who put out the press release about the study:
“The people who funded this study wanted these results to come out, and the news release organization wouldn’t accept this unless we gave an organization name.”
The erstwhile Mr. Nichols also explained why he couldn’t reveal any details or release a copy of the study. He confessed the highly secretive Republican sponsor would rather have people think the study was a fake than have their identity revealed to the public.
“It’s a real study, done with standard polling techniques, but the study was funded by a Republican PAC, and I’m tied up in so many contracts and things that I can’t possibly show you the actual study. The funding source wants these results out. They’d rather have people not believe it’s real than be identified.”
If you haven’t started laughing yet, there is still more to come. Nichols explained how the subjects were selected:
“We didn’t look at areas with educated populations, or in cities. In fact, we had trouble finding people in those categories who watched Fox News. Instead, we looked for uneducated, rural people — the people who actually believe that women’s bodies will prevent conception by rape. Those sorts of people.”
Tom McKay at PolicyMic puts this scam to rest by brilliantly explaining the statistical impossibility of the so- called study’s results:
“Even without looking at the supposed source, these results are statistically improbable if not outright impossible to achieve. IQ variance simply does not work that way. Only roughly 16.73%of the population has an I.Q. below 85; finding any sample group with consistently measured intelligence that low would necessitate visiting a special-needs academy. Keep in mind that the survey is claiming an average age of 80, meaning that if true, the results would suggest nearly 50% of Fox News viewers are borderline deficient and suffer from a mild disability.”
While the fraudulent idea that 50 percent of Fox News viewers are actually borderline deficient and suffering from a mild disability would probably validate everything Democrats would like to think about Conservatives who rely on Fox as their primary news source, Liberals will have to admit they got suckered on this one. This scam, while amusing, is a serious attempt to slander all those bitter Republicans who cling to guns or religion.
To wrap up this exercise in lunacy, we would like to share with you the scientific opinion of Mr. Nichols, researcher extraordinaire:
‘”Less intelligent animals rely on instinct when confronted by something which they do not understand. This is an ancient survival reaction all animals, including humans, exhibit. It’s a very simple phenomenon, really; think about a dog being afraid of a vacuum cleaner. He doesn’t know what a vacuum is or if it may harm him, so he becomes agitated and barks at it. Less intelligent humans do the same thing. Concepts that are too complex for them to understand, may frighten or anger them.’”
Meanwhile, business is booming for Fox News and President Roger Ailes is surely getting the last laugh. The network has the top eight rated news programs and averages 2.6 million viewers, a 47 percent increase over this time last year.