Why Do Men Say ‘I Love You’? A Psychologist Weighs In

“I love you.” Only three words, but so much meaning behind them. Or at least that’s what people think when they hear someone say these words.

In fact, while one can argue that women are more romantic in a relationship, several studies have shown that men are more likely to say “I love you” before their partner does. But why do men say “I love you”?

While some people may think – from past experience or just from the influence of the media – that men say “I love you” to obtain sexual favors, it’s actually much more complicated than that. But it is indeed a fact that men cannot always be trusted when they say “I love you.”

As to why men say “I love you” in a relationship, most of the times it’s because men don’t fully understand their feelings for the person they’re proclaiming their love, thinks psychologist Fredric Neuman M.D. of Psychology Today.

Answering the question: “Why do men say ‘I love you’?” Neuman posits that sometimes men proclaim their love when they actually want to say “I feel really good with you.” And you can’t really blame men for saying “I love you” when they don’t quite feel it (yet), as nobody can properly explain how it feels like being in love with someone.

That’s one reason why men say “I love you”: when they feel happy being next to someone “right this minute.” Most people can’t really tell the difference between the love that turns into a permanent commitment and the love that lasts for a months, days, or even hours.

It’s fair to say that men who feel as if they’re in love with their partner before, during, or moments after sexual intercourse, may not feel the same way a few hours later.

However, in no way does it mean that men are trying to deceive women and are saying “I love you” only to get to sleep with them. No. Most of the time, men just don’t know how to express the fact that they’re feeling “really good” being with someone other than to say these three words.

But feeling “really good” does not necessarily turn into a lasting relationship, nor does it mean that feeling this way means “love” per se. Men are aware that “love” exists, and they know that there is this threshold called “love” to be or not to be passed in a relationship, but they most of the time they can’t quite tell when they have passed that “love” threshold.

That’s why men say “I love you” as soon as they start feeling “really good” in a relationship and they want their partner to know it. But that’s not the only explanation as to why men say “I love you,” as there are also other reasons. In fact, Elite Daily asked Reddit users to reveal why they said “I love you” when they actually didn’t mean it.

One user said that he simply didn’t know how else to say “I care for you.” Another user confessed that her ex proclaimed his love to her back when he wasn’t sure about his feelings, and then just kept saying “I love you” because he “didn’t want to hurt my feelings by telling me he wasn’t sure.”

“He said, ‘It’s really hard to stop saying ‘I love you’ once you’ve started saying it.’”

Another Reddit user confessed that saying “I love you” “just kind of slipped,” so he ended up thinking he meant it and just kept “going with it.” There are many reasons why men say “I love you,” but there’s no telling if that “love” actually translates into a permanent commitment.

Sometimes the only way to find out if a man actually means what he says when he proclaims his love is to just wait and see.

[Featured Image by nd3000/Shutterstock]