Following the death of Johannah “Jay” Deakin in December, Louis Tomlinson admitted that he considered taking a step back from the limelight, but recounting his mother’s words stopped him. In an interview with Sirius XM, the Doncaster-born crooner talked about one of Jay’s wishes before succumbing to leukemia.
“When I first found out about the news, I did want to throw the towel in. But it was [my] mum that said to me that I just gotta keep going. She told me very sternly that she wanted me to. So I’m not doing it for her, but we’re doing it for each other. It was tough but I felt like it was nice for me to have a little send-off.”
Jay was loved by Directioners across the globe because of how she supported Louis. Throughout his career, the mother-of-seven would find time to interact with fans mostly through Twitter. She was proudly referred to by Louis as his “best friend.”
A photo posted by Mrs Johannah Deakin (@mrsjohannahdeakin) on
The One Direction member debuted his single “Just Hold On” on the X Factor finale shortly after Jay died. It was reportedly her wish to see Louis back on the stage that launched him to global fame. Louis put on a brave face that night and was grateful that Steve Aoki was with him on the stage.
“I have had to watch it back a couple of times since, because in the moment right there and especially with the emotion and everything, it all just wizzed by so quickly. I was terrified at the time, but it was a real moment and it really helped me going out and having Steve there with me. It was my first performance, I wasn’t completely alone, so that definitely really helped.”
Now that Jay’s gone, one of his pillars is his son, Freddie, who recently celebrated his first birthday.
Louis takes pride that having Freddie changed him.
“It’s affected how I am as a person a little bit. I’d like to say it’s made me a bit more mature — I don’t know if that’s actually true,” he said.
The “No Control” singer said that he sings “nice lullabies” to Freddie. While having more kids is “definitely in the future,” Louis prefers to “stay career-driven” now.
The proud father was present at the first birthday celebration of his son on Saturday. Briana Jungwirth shared a video of Freddie with his birthday cake. Louis was holding his son as he excitedly walked towards his cake.
It is still unknown if One Direction will be back soon. The band is supposed to end their break this year, but it appears that the boys could still need more time to rest and do their own things.
Nonetheless, in December, when a fan asked Liam Payne on Twitter if One Direction will still get back together, he responded, “I’m 100% certain that we will.”
Even if all of them are now focusing on their craft as solo artists, the bond remains. Louis even shared that he already patched things up with Zayn Malik. He said that while things did happen in the past, they have now reached a point where they’re “really happy for each other.” Louis also described Zayn’s “Pillowtalk” as “an absolute smash.” Zayn was one of the first ones who sent encouraging words to Louis when Jay died.
The British band is competing with Zayn at the 2017 BRIT Awards. Zayn’s debut track “Pillowtalk” and 1D’s “History” are both vying for the Best British Video award, with the winner to be announced on February 22 at London’s O2 Arena.
[Featured Image by Kevin Winter/Getty Images]