Shoplifter Burned By Peppers, Busted By Police

A shoplifter who decided to help himself to some peppers was busted by police after the store’s manager found the man doubled over in agonizing pain. The Daily Mail reports that 39-year-old Marcus Branwell, a Bristol native, bit off more than he could chew when he decided to pop a few whole Scotch bonnet chillies into his thieving mouth. In addition to some serious gastrointestinal discomfort, the man will spend some time behind bars for his extremely poor decision.

Seconds after Branwell stuffed that fiery little food into his mouth, the effects of the pepper soon had a hold on the guy. Before long, he was red-faced and coughing, though this didn’t stop him from attempting to flee the scene of the crime. Fortunately for the shop owner, he didn’t make it very far. Police arrested the man on the street outside of the store. However, an unhappy mouth wasn’t the only thing Branwell had in his possession.

According to reports, the shoplifter had been very busy until his encounter with the aforementioned fruit. In addition to four extra peppers, the man had swiped a milkshake and some fruit juice from the store. Police also discovered a clarinet complete with Green Goblin sticker tucked into the waistband of his pants. The instrument had been reported missing from a music shop not too far from where Branwell was arrested.

While in custody, the shoplifted admitted to possessing a few illegal drugs as well as participating in three different shop thefts. For his actions, Branwell will face 14 weeks behind bars.

If you’re curious as to just how hot these Scotch Bonnets can get, consider this: On the scoville scale, jalapeno peppers rank between 2,500 and 8,000. The Bonnets, meanwhile, are clocked at around 100,000, and that’s on the low end. Attempting to eat one whole is akin to madness, though this practice does make for solid viewing on YouTube.

Needless to say, eating peppers while shoplifting isn’t going to help your stay inconspicuous.