Lipstick and Love over vodka shots

Our occasional contributor Fake Steve Gillmor returns…

For the last few weeks, The Inquisitr’s tech coverage has become so viscerally partisan that you could sense that the coverage was coming close to threatening the fundamental tenets of particle physics. Namely, that keeping your nose clean with Crunchmeme requires brown envelopes.

With the advent of 24 hour blogging and Google hit squads, the business of invading South America has a wag the dog feel about it. As Jason Calacanis became more and more drunk in his analysis of young blonde groupies, the best god could do was deny him his next bottle on an open mic. With ratings down this year, the cash flow may be harder to come by in 2009.

The celebrity circus obscured the fact that in the history of tech conferences, BlahBlahGirls will now become default slang for crappy site, hot older wife. They say that Stolly is filtered, clean and pure as the Google filters that delivered an airline hit. Filters through which we learn the “facts” on the ground, like how Russia started the war, even when we all know it was Georgia’s fault. These thin-skinned primadonnas run startups, fame whores at desks in their boxer shorts and waiting for the moment of inspiration from the next missive from god.

Not that I innately believe every message coming from the Google chiefs; often the nuance of their answers carries money dressed in Adsense units. If Silverlight can play comfortably in Chrome, with a nod toward warewolfs and the loch ness monster to fill in the Linux blank, then Chrome becomes mesh toast, lightly buttered with cream cheese and freshly caught shrimp paste, cooked by a Kindle chef. If I have flash on the brain, it’s not from the streaming porn I’m researching, but from the paparazzi taking pictures of me this week.

The Netflix strategy makes renting porn a less onerous process, with no late fees and a large catalog to choose from, and yet will people pay when they can download it for free? Or will my partner in crime have already cut the net off through excessive usage?

I want to conclude though by thanking god for giving me such a great personal blog where I get paid to write the occasional article, and nothing much else happens in between. Who had the cutest dog at the event you ask? car racing wins, the Ford puppy was fat.