‘Furious 7’ Star Michelle Rodriguez Admits To Feeling Jealous That Paul Walker Went First

When Paul Walker was killed during the filming of Furious 7, few took his untimely passing harder than Michelle Rodriguez, and she’s the first to say that she still mourns his loss deeply, but she has recently discovered that grief isn’t all the Fast & Furious actress has been feeling. Michelle now recognizes that Walker’s death left her feeling jealous, as well as mournful.

Michelle Rodriguez Is Jealous That Paul Walker Went Before Her

Ms. Rodriguez recently participated in The Reality of Truth(produced by Adam Singer), a controversial documentary in which its interviewees are administered Ayahuasca, a highly hallucinogenic psychotropic drug often used by Native American shamans to induce visions. While under the influence of this drug, Rodriguez came to understand that her feelings over losing Paul were far more complex than the grief that seemed to consume her at the time.

“I have to say, you know, when I lost Paul, I went through about a year of just being an animal,” Michelle admits. “Like, what could I do, physically, to just get my mind off of existentialism? Get my mind off of how transient life is and how we come here and can just disappear at any moment. How could I get my mind off that?”

We all deal with grief and loss in our own way and, for Michelle, coping with the loss of Paul Walker sent her spiraling out of control. Rodriguez says that she wasn’t just running from the loss, but she was also trying to hide from herself.

“I’ll tell you that my Ayahuasca trip made me sad that he left me here,” says Furious 7‘s Rodriguez. “It wasn’t a sadness that he’s gone, it’s more like a jealousy that he’s there first.”

After appearing on The Reality of Truth, Michelle said that taking Ayanhuasca brought the destruction of everything in her life, but she adds that it was also an awakening.

Furious 7 Star Michelle Rodriguez Says Scott Eastwood Is No Paul Walker

As much as she misses Paul, even Michelle recognizes that the show must go on and that definitely goes for the Fast & The Furious film franchise, but that doesn’t mean she’s accepting Scott Eastwood as a new version of Paul Walker. It doesn’t help matters that Eastwood has been cast as Brian O’ Conner, long-lost brother to Walker’s character. When asked her opinion of bringing Eastwood in to replace the late and beloved Paul Walker, Rodriguez is very clear.

“I don’t know about that. Nobody will ever, as long as I live, fit that role,” says Michelle. “Understand that?”

It’s sad that Ms. Rodriguez can’t be more accepting of Scott Eastwood in his new Fast & Furious role, considering Paul Walker shared a bond with each of them. For Michelle, she was closest to Paul and often went to him when she was having troubles or just needed to talk to a friend. Michelle and Walker were nearly inseparable on set.

Likewise, Paul and Scott were close friends until his passing with many likening the pair to real brothers. They spent their younger years surfing together, and Eastwood still thinks of Walker as an older brother, which he revealed when he accepted the Fast 8 role. The actor said his only concern in taking the role was to make Paul proud.

Following her experience with such a powerful, mind-altering drug, Michelle may be more open to accepting Scott Eastwood and moving on with the Fast & Furious franchise. Over time, Ms. Rodriguez may come to see that she shares something special and rare with another Paul Walker’s close friends.

Fast 8, starring Scott Eastwood, Charlize Theron, Jason Statham, and Michelle Rodriguez, is scheduled for an April 14, 2017 theatrical debut.

[Image by Xaume Olleros/Getty Images for amfAR]