New “purity ring” app for proud virgins

You know that creepy movement where mislead pious teenagers pledge to anyone who will listen that they’re saving themselves for marriage?

There’s an app for that. A new “purity ring” app has joined the ranks of silly apps available in the iTunes store. After taking a pledge of chastity, Jesus-happy youngsters are allowed access to an “infinite loop” of an image of a purity ring to display on their iPhone screens- presumably to remind all their gettin’ busy peers to repent and say no to pre-marital hippity-dippity. Yes- people are paying for an application to help circumvent getting laid. Fail.

Developer Island Wall Entertainment indicates that the app- priced at 59p in England and 99 cents in the US- is generally expected to compliment the traditional, much more expensive physical kind of purity ring. Because you can never proudly proclaim your virginity in too many places!

Director of Island Wall Entertainment Henry E Bennett spoke to the media about the inspiration behind the new app.

”This is an exciting opportunity to reach a whole new generation of people on a platform that has never been used to spread this important message.”