Olivia Penpraze lived a double life. To family and friends, she was a happy young girl full of laughter and smiles. The facade she allowed others to see was a mask that hid something much deeper, a depression that was complimented by bullying from her peers. Trapping her true feelings inside made life unbearable to live, eventually leading to multiple suicide attempts, the last finally ending her suffering.
After three unsuccessful suicide attempts, each occurring on May 1, according to the Daily Mail, 2012 became her year to end it all. Although the attempt was not completely successful, she was rushed to the hospital in Melbourne, Australia, where she lay brain dead until her parents made the horrific decision to finally end the life support.
Olivia hid her condition well, refusing to allow the way bullying and depression impacted her to flow out onto her loved ones that surrounded her. Instead, she continued to internalize the sadness and feelings of despair as her facade of happiness glistened on the outside, according to Metro.
“None of my friends know anything about me – they fall for my fake laughs and smiles – they believe I’m fine.”
All the while, Penpraze kept a video diary showing how she really felt, providing a glimpse into her world — a private world that only she had the key to. As her depression became worse, she found that she was not alone, as a ghostly figure arrived as a companion. She named the ghost “Bree,” knowing it was not real yet accepting its presence.
In her final video, Olivia told her story with cue cards, each giving an intimate glimpse into her life, reassuring everyone why she made the decision to commit suicide and end it all, proclaiming that her previous failed attempts were not a sign of weakness while also hoping others would not follow in her footsteps.
“Just because I’ve failed to kill myself doesn’t make me weak, it doesn’t make me pathetic or an attention seeker and if you’ve failed too it doesn’t make you any of these things either. You are strong, you are brave and you will get through this I promise.”
Olivia realized that her depression was the reason for her sadness, but that bullying was the catalyst for her desire to leave this world. In a final plea to all that might view the video diary, she urged viewers against bullying.
“If you ever think of bullying someone… DON’T! because you could ruin their life. Your words hurt and could make someone take their life.”
Olivia’s father found the video diary on her laptop, not knowing what she was going through until it was too late. As a result, they are using the diary as a public service announcement to urge others in the same situation to find help and let others know, setting up Angels4Olivia as a means for people to share their stories and seek help.
[Photo Courtesy: Youtube Screen Capture/Aussie Criminals]