Rumer Willis On Body Shaming And Bullying: ‘These Are My Flaws, But I’m Still Beautiful’

Rumer Willis is no stranger to the effects bullying and body shaming can have on an impressionable teenager, but the Dancing With The Stars champion reveals the harsh reality that those kinds of bullies didn’t go away as Ms. Willis has grown older.

“For a long time I just wanted to look tiny and androgynous,” Rumer says.

Looking back, Rumer remembers being especially self conscious of her body and being additionally aware of everything she did, because, being the daughter of two celebrities, Ms. Willis was always subjected to more public scrutiny than other teen girls.

“When you grow up in the public eye the way that I did, everyone’s looking at you and waiting for you to do something crazy or say something wrong or have a meltdown,” Ms. Willis said in a recent interview. “I was constantly bullied because of my looks, so I struggled a lot with my body image. I wanted to have no butt; I wanted to have no boobs.”

Rumer admits that, even now, she still has to contend with body shaming. The accessibility made possible through social media has become a double-edged sword. While Rumer enjoys connecting with others and staying relevant through sites like Twitter and Instagram, Ms. Willis says that people aren’t always as nice and respectful online as they might be in real-life situations.

“But the real pressure comes from the Internet and social media—the mentality that it’s OK to attack people from behind a computer screen. Strangers say the nastiest things. Until recently the thought of making one misstep that could be criticized would stop me from trying new things and from standing up for myself.”

It was this feeling of being attacked and of worrying over her own insecurities that led Rumer to seek out to the Dancing With The Stars opportunity that led to so many positive changes in Ms. Willis’ life. Ms. Willis admits that she didn’t know what to expect from the Dancing With The Stars experience; Rumer went in with an open mind and a willingness to do her best.

“The first day I danced on-air, I was nervous; I had been struggling, and the dress rehearsal hadn’t gone well,” says Rumer. “But after I finished I felt more beautiful than I had in my entire life. Not because of how I looked…but because of what I’d accomplished and worked so hard for. When you conquer something you didn’t think you could do, energy and confidence radiate out of you, and that’s more beautiful than if you were skinny or had the perfect face.”

Even after so much success, Rumer said that the bullying hasn’t stopped. In fact, Ms. Willis feels as though it’s gotten worse by opening herself up to a wider audience. Ms. Willis said she would have to block upwards of 10 people a day, just because their body shaming and bullying was so persistent, but, over time, Rumer has come to accept that her reactions were a bigger problem than the bullying itself.

“But when it happens now, I remind myself that focusing on people’s negative opinions will only make me feel like crap. If I start to get discouraged, I take a step back and go, ‘All right, I don’t feel great today, but what can I do to shift how I’m thinking?’ It’s difficult, but the moment you stop saying, ‘I’m really fat,’ or ‘I’m ugly,’ and just say, ‘Wow, I have this,’ then you’ll see a change.”

Rumer hopes that by sharing her own experiences in interviews and through social media that it will help to open people up to understanding the damage their words can do.

“Attacking one another instead of supporting one another has become the norm. Life’s hard enough as it is. Let’s find strength in the fact that we’re different and unique. Let’s allow ourselves to say, ‘These are my flaws, but I’m still beautiful.’ Let’s find our own value, know what we have to offer—and know that that is enough.”

This wasn’t the first time Rumer spoke openly about bullying in her life. Ms. Willis also shared her experiences on Dancing With The Stars.

[Featured image: Rumer Willis courtesy of Jason Merritt/Getty Images]