No one will ever accuse Stanley Geddie of being a criminal mastermind. For reasons the police in Tallahassee, Florida, are still trying to figure out, the 47-year-old showed up in a taxi cab to rob a bank on Wednesday, in the city’s Capital Circle district. And things only went downhill from there.
The alleged would-be robber’s first mistake, other than taking a taxi to a bank robbery, was stiffing his cab driver on the fare, which according to the driver was all of $25.50, The Tallahassee Democrat newspaper reported.
According to Tallahassee cops who showed up at the scene of the bizarre robbery attempt, Geddie told the driver, “I’ll take care of you when I come out,” presumably meaning that he would pay the fare with cash he obtained from knocking over the Capital City Bank.
Unsurprisingly, that wasn’t good enough for the driver who ultimately pressed charges against Geddie for petty theft. But that is probably the least of Geddie’s worries Thursday.
Wearing sunglasses that he never removed, Geddie then entered the bank and walked straight to the bank manager’s office, where he helped himself to a seat and demanded to speak to the manager.
Again not surprisingly, police say that Geddie was drunk during his unusual crime, and that when they arrived on the scene, he appeared to be “spaced out.”
But inside the manager’s office, he was coherent enough to tell the manager exactly what he was there to accomplish.
“I’m here to rob the bank,” Geddie reportedly told the Capital City Bank manager. “I want $100,000 cash and I want it in all hundreds.”
When the manager replied, “I don’t have any cash for you,” Geddie informed the man that he had a.357 Magnum handgun and was also wired with C4 plastic explosives.
Apparently concerned that the manager still wasn’t taking him seriously, Geddie also told the manager that he was there with accomplices, and they had the place surrounded.
An alert bank employee noticed that the manager appeared concerned. After he nodded when she held up a business card with “911” written on the back, the employee called police.
The cops really did surround the bank. But when Geddie walked out, police instructed him to put his hands up — to which Geddie replied, “No.”
According to the police account, officers then warned Geddie that if he made any sudden moves, they would open fire.
At that point Geddie said, “Well, then, kill me.”
The officers did not kill the incompetent would-be robber, but they did disable him with a taser. When they searched his person, they found no firearms or explosives.
But that’s not even the full extent of Geddie’s criminal genius. Apparently, he had a brilliant disguise all ready to go.
When he was being treated in the hospital for his taser wounds, doctors found that he was wearing two pairs of pants. Geddie told the doctors that he planned to strip off one pair of pants after the robbery and wear the other one, so no one would recognize him as the bank robber.
In addition to the petty theft charge for failing to pay his taxi fare, Stanley Geddie was charged with robbery without a firearm, and non-violently resisting arrest.
[Image: Tallahassee Police Department]