Dumbest criminal candidates are plentiful in the U.S. alone, but open up the competition to the U.K. and it can really get hard to decide.
One candidate definitely in the running this year (and probably out to an early lead) is 18-year-old Ryan Marsh. The young man stole an entire shower from a renovation construction site in England.
And he probably would have gotten away with it, had he not decided to profit from the deal by trying to sell the shower back to the very team of builders who reported it missing.
This may come as a shock to some of you, as it’s typically not an element of dumbest criminal cases (that’s sarcasm), but when police arrested Marsh, they found several bags of cannabis on his person.
Prosecuting attorney Melanie Wotton explained.
“A great deal of work was going on and a key had been left secured in a Portakabin on site. Some tools were left on site and also a shower, which was being put into the property.”
“On July 24, the key was left in the cabin and later, when the workers returned, they found the key was missing and that some items had been taken from the property.”
“The defendant was linked to the items, which were discovered at his address by police the next day. His house was searched and 12 bags of cannabis were also discovered.”
Crawley News described Ryan Marsh as a “dozy” young man, which if you’re limited to American English, means “drowsy” or “lazy.”
(Both accurate descriptors for someone who would try to pull off a crime like this one.)
It didn’t take authorities very long to piece things together and come up with an arrest, the news site notes.
Sergeant Anthony Cheeseman, of Sussex Police, had this to add.
“We worked closely with the building firm who had their tools stolen while renovating a house in Maypole Road. The tools were located when Marsh was trying to offer them for sale back to the people they were stolen from.”
“We were quickly able to arrest him and he was charged with burglary. We will not tolerate this kind of behaviour and Marsh has now been punished for his crime.”
Part of that punishment includes a 12-month community order as well as 100 hours of unpaid work. He was also ordered to pay a £60 victim surcharge and £85 in costs (which comes to around $221 U.S.)
“Hopefully the sentence imposed on Marsh will positively impact on his life — and stop his offending,” said Sergeant Graeme Prentice.
Does Marsh have your vote for dumbest criminal so far?
[Image via Crawley News, linked above]