Jersey Shore Stars Give Hookup Advice

When Beavis and Butthead was returned to us 90’s kids, surprisingly intact and still hilarious, the first glimpse we were given were the two huh-huh merchants huh-huhing at MTV’s guido-centric reality show Jersey Shore.

Indeed, it seems the low-intellect shenanigans of Snooki, J-Woww and The Situation were perfect for their critical pop-culture commentary, and Butthead’s comment about the hook-up chart going back far enough to see “where herpes began” made many Beavis and Butthead fans feel assured the show’s sense of humor remained intact. It was also spot-on- the young people featured on Jersey Shore have demonstrated a very indiscriminate eye for the opposite sex and often engage in hook-ups as part of the show’s “plot.”

So MTV has gathered the kids together to advise the rest of us on how to behave (and not behave) when engaging in a hook-up. If you’ve ever envied Pauly D’s game, here’s your chance to romance the ladies like a juicehead. And if you’ve ever wondered just how Snooki manages to reign in the guidos, read on.

From Pauly D, some words on respectful use of technology: “You should never text-message during hooking up…Put your phone away.”

The Situation addressed another respect issue, keeping track of names: “You should never call another name. If her name is Sheila, don’t call her Tawana.”

Ever the lady, J-Woww advised discretion when talking to a potential hook-up: “[Don’t] throw it all out there… ‘I got kids, I was married, I was this, I’m bankrupt, I killed my mom’ …you don’t do that stuff.”

And Deena wants to remind potential lotharios to keep bodily functions under control, adding: “[Don’t] fart or burp in their face.”

Will you be tuning in to the second episode of Jersey Shore, season five tonight?